April 11, 2020

Some thoughts :)

I died in Habitica today xD haha which is not necessarily a problem for me since I do finish my dailies and habits by the end of the day and I spent my money xD I did lose like 300 coins though, and one equipment. I should've spent the coins xD It just feels like sometime the system bugs out and kills me for funzies, cause I don't know, I can't imagine all that damage came from my members xD Maybe my life is too low. Just a thought xD

Anyhoo, starting off the day with both my parents poking their heads in my room talking to me, I apparently answered, but I don't remember a single thing they asked me to do xD I guess I did them in the end, since they didn't complain xD I still feel tired psychologically and mentally, but I couldn't have a third lazy day this week, so I pushed myself to study and to do my physical excercises of the day :) The exercises of the day usually change in the application, which is a great thing, that way my whole body can move and not be all rusty. But I noticed that my arms are particularly week (obviously depending on the excercise), especially when I do push ups. I never realized how hard it was to push myself up from the ground. I am happy though to find out that is uses the muscles where I want to lose fat from. But seriously, push up are hard, and yet the plank is my worst nightmare xD haha

I think I'll do physical excercises tomorrow too. I don't know, it's as if my body is asking for it. I usually walk to calm it down, but since that is not an option now, I do the excercises. It calms me down and on the plus side it helps me sleep.

So in the past two days, the burnout also afflicted my artistic side. It's very annoying to have an idea, but no will to sketch it out. It also bothers the dickens out of me that I have a project with a girl in Australia, but I can't push myself to finish it: they idea of coloring just kills me :| But last night she texted me on Discord and asked me how I was, and I told her the truth. She said the burnout was understandable, she is also going through what I am, but she also has stress weighing down on her. I can control my stress, it's as if it was this extra entity that sits beside me to remind me how and what I should do. And I just listen, without it absorbing me and filling me with anxiety. I learned it from my boyfriend. Something that I am grateful for, but he shall never know u.u

Anyways, our brief conversation sparked my creativity again, tonight, once I am done baking an apple pie and writing down todays journal, I'll finish our project :)

Last night, before going to bed I asked my boyfriend to call me with a videochat <3 It was a nice note to end on a very meh day. I went to bed feeling happy.

Written by pinenutes

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