6:59 AM (of Wednesday, May 12th 2021)
Today is Tuesday, May 11th 2021 and I had a gutsier day today I guess. Last night I was talking with someone and we eventually got to talking about Dr. Michael Greger who runs the Nutritionfactsorg YouTube channel, we talked about how he owned a treadmill desk like me. He walks 10 hours a day and 18 miles a day, every single day on that thing. I was like, this morning, okay I'm gonna try doing the same thing.
So that was my entire plan for the day, just be like Dr. Michael Greger and walk on a treadmill for 10 hours. Throughout the working day I just walked or stood on the treadmill most of the time. It was very difficult. I mean the initial few hours weren't that bad, but four hours in I was getting kinda tired of walking around. I wasn't used to standing up or walking around while working, so I basically quit around 4 hours in. After that, I would just be standing the rest of the day and not walking, since I have a standing desk. I'll try again tomorrow and the next days after that. I'm going to keep trying it until I can get 10 hours of walking.
At around 10 AM, just an hour into my walking, when my legs were warmed up, I decided to try and kick to knock down this tape I put in the hallway that was at doorframe height. I don't know the exact height of the door frames in this home, but I'd estimate them to be 76-78 inches high, a bit shorter than US standards for doorframes at 80 inches, but I know I'm not able to kick 80 inches high. I can kick 76-78 inches high though. I put this tape up in the hallway at the door frame height and I am able to kick high enough to touch it anytime I wanted. I barely needed to warmup to kick that high.
Since I was walking for an hour, my feet and legs were very warmed up, so I was even more flexible and able to kick even slightly higher than normal. My attempt today was not just to touch the tape, but to knock it down with force, which I normally don't have that much force when I'm kicking that high. The reason I'm using a tape too, instead of just kicking the actual door frame, is because it would hurt to kick that. I mean just normally kicking at a wall at waist level, hurts and can injure my feet. If I kick that high to touch the actual top of the door frame, I can probably greatly injure myself or whatever kicking that door frame. So that's why I'm kicking tape instead.
Anyway I recorded it all on video, it took me two attempts to kick down the tape with force. Nice! The video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_ta1jMuuco
The rest of the day was me standing up and just working. I no longer used the treadmill after 4 hours in, because I was tired of using it and no longer wanted to. Physically I could have kept going on forever, but mentally, I was tired of walking. What am I going to do? I find it really hard to push and motivate myself when I have the option to quit without any consequences. Why would I torment myself to walking for another 6 hours, when I can just quit right now, and nothing bad would happen?
I already walked like 15k steps or something at that point, which not bad at all. I didn't need to push myself any further. That was the reasoning and mentality I was going through, and the battle in my head to quit or keep going. I could have seriously kept going without any detriment, but I just lost the will. I'm weak in that sense.
Later that night I faced the reality of how lonely I was. I talked to some platonic friends about it that I was super lonely and wanted a relationship with someone, posting crying emojis over it. There was this woman I was talking to that I found in a vegan single's group, she was very attractive and blonde, also looking for a relationship, a very pretty woman and I thought her age was 29 at the most.
She was pretty hot actually, I looked through a bunch of her photos too, and photos from 3 years ago looked like she was seriously 25, so I suspected she was at most 29. I mean I talked with interest to her from the beginning because I thought she was around my age, she told me she was actually 41. Wtf. That was unexpected. I think she also thought I was older than I was, like in my 35s or something. Nope, I'm in my mid/late 20s. I told her I was still fine with having a relationship with her if she wanted despite our age differences, and she said "I don't know," and then hasn't replied anything since. There is kinda no way I'd believe she was 41, I'd have guessed she was 22 based on a selfie photo she posted yesterday night, she probably looks hotter than a lot of 22 year olds too.
I was very lonely and bored, I talked openly to platonic friends about it, they were also single though and had their own problems they were going through. Still they comforted me through my own current dilemma, which isn't a big deal. I'm just feeling so lonely af.
I donated around $2k to a vegan charity that night through Facebook and one of the organizers thanked me personally shortly afterwards and sent me a friend request, she was probably 5 years younger than me and was already in a relationship too, anyway she also had 5000 friends and so just putting it out there in case she knew anyone, I asked if she had any single vegan friends that would be okay with starting out long distance before eventually moving to where I am, and she said she didn't know anyone at the moment. I was just putting it out there.
I am also worried and a little stressed out about my own personal problems here too. I'm waiting for my water utility bill to arrive so I can make a bank account, apply for a driver's license, and get a car here, and lots of other things. But a water utility bill hasn't arrived yet. I've been here for a bit over two months, living without a fridge or freezer and just $2 to $3 of food most days, but there is still no water utility bill. I check my mailbox basically daily, and it's always empty. Come on... just send me a bill... I'm using water here all the time... send me a water bill.... send... me... a... water... bill... already....! I would really like to pay it, water company, just send me a bill already please.
The thing is though, I probably barely use any water. I only mainly use it to wash the dishes and drink water. I very rarely take a shower, even before I go out or even after going out. I think it's completely possible to tell when you smell bad, you can just smell your clothing and underarms for any bad smells, and I basically have no scent at all, even without deodorant, even after sweating a lot. When I get really sweaty though, I do change clothes because my clothing gets soaked. Other than that, I barely use any water for anything else. I think my water utility bill might be so minuscule they don't even send it? Wtf. That's not fair. Send me a water bill already. Why is my mailbox always empty? Do people take from my mailbox like how they opened my package yesterday and possibly stole the packing slip from it?
Anyway I ended up buying another video that night and enjoyed myself there. My feeling of loneliness and desire for companionship immediately vanished and I went to sleep shortly afterwards.
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