5/23/21

Woken up three or four times for meds and breakfast too early, then had to wait like 20 minutes to even get all of my meds. Thank goodness the doxycycline wasn't actually removed. I still feel tired and doped up from the trazodone and I hate it and can't wait until my real doctors can fix it again. I couldn't get back to sleep because of the light and noise. It's hot outside, in the 90s, so I laid out in the sun. Feels hotter today without the clouds and wind. I miss music and dancing.

Self-care Sunday goals: nap, eat well, read, shower, be outside. Try out a nappuccino- drink coffee before a 20 minute nap and the caffeine will kick in right after you wake up from a reasonable nap length that won't make you feel too groggy.

Dr. Mike rushed me out of the shower to redress my wound. He and Nurse Emily lied and said that he had been waiting a half hour, then a whole hour. It was less than 5 minutes. The doctor literally said "It's been four minutes, how long does it take you to get out of the shower and get dressed?" UHH LONGER THAN THAT I'M DISABLED??? He then told me that my worsening hand blisters are "housewife's hands" jeez dude just fucking say dermatitis without misgendering me, or better yet- fucking fix the problem. I have these blisters all over my hands and feet and a rash on my tummy they just ignore or blame me for. The doctor won't let me cut my nails and told me for some reason it's the psychiatrist's job to give approval for that. Nurse Emily didn't understand why my anxiety and depression were both still 10/10 because she's a dumb bitch.

Later spent some time outside and the group we have right now is pretty good, not a lot of conflict. We were talking about OnlyFans and sugaring which is normally not an appropriate topic, but eyy, it was hilarious. A lot of the girls there seemed to want to try sugaring, but as usual not understanding that it's actual work, it's not just finding some guy who gives you money...

I got to be first in line for dinner because of my dietary restrictions. I got ziti without any cheese which was really good and I ate a lot of it.

Lotion has been helping my skin a bit. The blisters won't go away but they're not refilling or drying out and cracking either.