The Poor Man's College Experience

The past few days have been weird. Today was the beginning of my new routine. I've decided to keep skipping breakfast. There's not a ton of reason for me to have to be up super early and walk all the way over there for a cup of oatmeal and fruit. I have a few fruits lying around anyway since I have kitchen and pantry space now. So I slept in and then got up for class at 10. The only problem with that is I keep forgetting my morning meds until later. I have a pretty full schedule during the day, so once I left my room I was gone for a while.

I was a little bit late to class, but Theresa started late, so I didn't miss anything. It's the first day of their newly restructured courses, so I'm not sure anyone really knew what to expect. The first class was on "healing from shame" and the second was Bible study where we're going to start going through the book of Romans. I don't really like being forced into religion, but I don't mind studying it. After class, Lenny came into the room and we went out the back way to his office for therapy.

I wasn't really feeling it today after everything that's been going on, so I let him know that I've been having a rough time the past few days. The session only lasted about 10 minutes today because I just couldn't do it. I had about a half hour in between appointments, so I used that time to finally set up my voice-mail and to make some calls. I had to call my psychiatrist to get a refill on my klonopin, but she refuses to fill it until I'm seen because apparently the hospital discontinued that medicine as well and I've just been using whatever I had left over 🙃 ...and she can't see me to put me back on the medicine until August 11th. So what the fuck do I do?! That had me worried for a while because I was playing phone tag with my other doctor. I got very lucky because I've been seeing the same doctor for the past decade and they finally noticed that the appointments that I missed were when I was in the hospital, so they're not dismissing me from the office like they previously said. He can actually see me tomorrow at 4, so hopefully I can get that fixed. If I get lucky maybe he'll fix my ambien too because I only have a few of those left and I definitely notice an improvement in sleep duration and quality when I take it, so hopefully he puts me back on that, too.

I skipped all of my meals today... That's not really good. This is becoming more like disordered eating because I feel like I'm fat since I gained 20lbs in 2 months... I'm really not, but it's a pretty big jump and quite shocking when all your clothes suddenly no longer fit... (I complain, but I'm also eating now lol)

I grabbed a banana after checking in for the night. Unfortunately they're all going bad even though they're still mostly green?? I guess I need to eat them all tomorrow.

I'll probably watch Beastars and talk to Kat a bit more before going to sleep. It's pretty cold again so right now I'm sitting next to the window like it's a space heater (outside is hot, I'm in the refrigerator)