deep chill - all uploads (youtube playlist)

So, I cheated and I told Habitica that I had indeed forgotten to tick the "Write an entry for today" box and I had actually written an entry; an extensive post, if you'd like, a whole unintentional novella, if you will. I suppose I have to make up for it and write two different entries today.

I noticed that this is a new website. When I was a teenager I used to be extremely excited about new projects and I was always eager to help, even when it wasn't required at all, or straightforwardly discouraged. I loved the feeling to be a part of something bigger, to be one of the founders, the pioneers of something beautiful and full of potential. There were forums, at the time. I've met so many people there, but none of them has followed me to my adult years. As I once was, I am always very friendly with people. Nevertheless, I internally struggle with the feeling that it's just a facade, that we're having fun and spending a good time right now, in a certain context, but nothing will stem from it. That they enjoy my company when they have to, but not enough to want it outside of the context we've met in. I've only made two friends during my college experience. I was the one who chatted with everyone before and after class, who helped sending my notes to those who weren't there, who asked to take a coffee together - but my classmates were mostly willing to drink it in front of the vending machines at the faculty, never in the cute cafe nearby, outside of the university grounds. I tell to my most insecure part that it's okay, that two friends is better than none, that maybe we just didn't click and that's okay. That I live together with the best person I've ever met, and that's not considerate at all to just take R. for granted because she's been here all along.

That's it, Habitica, you see? Here's the thought of... yesterday.