Sept. 9, 2021

Day One Of Habiticia Journal Challenge

First day of doing the Habitica Journal Challenge even though the week is almost over, well It'll be over the 10th according to the challenge. Does this mean weekends are 'breaks' or are there places where the week ends on Friday (P.S. it's dumb that a new week starts on Sunday when it's still considered the 'weekend'). I already have a Daylio where I post most of my more personal anxieties so I guess I could make this public for accountability. Anyway, will try to write 750 words a day, hear that's good thing to start doing.

Ok, so since this is public I guess I'll tell a bit about my self. My name is Kendall, I'm 30 years old. I've been off and on Habitica for a while, I worry about this time because like every time I start again with it it's 'this time will be different,' maybe now that I'm more of an adult it'll be different? I have been making real fitness changes, so that gives me some hope I'll keep this going. This and going to bed at nine may be the hardest thing for me. I've never really liked sleep, even as a kid I'd stay up all night watching cartoons (parents had DirectTV, meaning Toon Disney all night-because of where the TV room was, my parents were none the wiser :P). And now I'm always afraid I'll miss something or feel like I should be staying up to do something. Like, even with hobbies if that makes sense. So, for example, I'll have these shows I want to finish and it can become like a commitment that I gotta finish it or I'm not a real fan of the genre I'm watching. I like anime but I don't actually watch it that as much as others I feel...

I just like doing too many things. I want to read all the time, watch anime and other shows, there are like a million period piece dramas on my Hulu and Nextflix. It just seems like there's never enough time. And then of course there's stuff like listening to the news and staying informed. I've talked about this with my therapist but I still keep trying to pull allnighters. The frustrating thing is...I can't seem to do that anyome :P No matter how much caffeine and it's like, I want to drink things like Diet Coke because it has zero calories and I try to watch what I eat (though I should stop anyway because I hear that stuff's bad for you), but it makes my stomach hurt. In fact, now even having a Smoothie King smoothie with caffeine, if it's too much, will give me a stomach ache. And I realized I can't focus as much and I know that's why. 

So, my first main goal is sleep. I also joined a Habitica challenge that focuses on reading books by women of color. I didn't realize it was like a yearly challenge, so I'm way late to it and I have no idea if it goes past a year but It seemed cool. I'm reading In Concrete by Anne Garreta. According to the description, it's absurdist literature about someone whose life and the life of their family changes because of a concrete mixer. Very different from the fantasy novels I usually read. I'm not always good at word play though, I'm better when things are well, concrete...hum, maybe with that title that's the point, to get people thinking.

I'm a bit worried about getting that done and also I decided to join OnlineBookClub again but I'm not sure about the book, also I didn't realize I'd have to have it finished by Septermber 21st, I joined a couple of years ago and stopped reviewing because I never knew what they wanted it seemed, tough I could've just not been taking it seriously enough. Another issue I have is that I was giving a PDF file and it opened on my Kindle and I can't make notes or anything. Maybe I can make private entries here or something (only because it'd be super boring). So that's two books to finish and I skimmed the first page of the OnlineBookClub book and...not sure, but I should give it a chance. And I also have a book to read for, well, I'm hoping to write a book, I got sorta a plot right now I'm reading up on mythology to hopefully get more ideas. My hope is that I'll be like those fairy tale retellings of basically a generational curse. I enjoy those retellings what can I say? 

Written by Kcollins12

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