Bought an iPhone 13 Pro Max and More Stories

10:06 PM

Does the past always feel like "the good old days"? I've just been reminiscing on those chats I viewed last night from 2015-2016. I have a direct quote on there where I said "2013-2014 were the worst years of my life" but now that those years are way long in the past, they don't seem that bad. Life is really long, but it's really short, at the same time. Those years don't seem that long ago, and yet they are, but then again they aren't. Weird.

I just talked to different people back then in 2015-2016. Most of the chats I looked at, the other person already closed or deactivated their account by today, I have no idea where they are now. I looked at some women I used to have a crush on too, and I feel nothing for them now. Not even when I look at their past photos that filled me with so much desire for them back in the day. I talked with a lot of them too. I became pretty close with some of them. I miss those days. 🥲😭

As they say, you don't know what you have until it's gone. Well, maybe you did know what you had, but you never thought it would be gone some day.

10:49 PM

Actually I just looked some of them up, and they seem to be using brand new accounts, just like me. I think I can eventually open up and send them a hello message after so long. I'm going to wait though, I need to lose a lot of weight first, and then upload new photos. Then I'll be far more comfortable messaging them. I don't know how they'll react to me messaging them again after years of me having randomly deactivated my account out of nowhere without saying goodbye. Maybe the past should just be left in the past? I think though that we're only alive for such a short time period, if there's a chance of reconvening I guess I'll take it, even if it ends in disaster.

But yeah, I bought an iPhone 13 Pro Max today, the newest and highest end iPhone model in the world, and I paid around $1600 for it. The price here is $1399 for the 256gb version, because I guess import fees like tariffs and such, and I also had to pay a sales tax and some other other fees, everything totaled to around $1600. It wasn't cheap at all.

This is actually the first new phone I ever bought. All my previous phones were $150 or cheaper used. I would buy used phones from 2 years ago, 2 years from whenever the year was that I would buy them, and they'd usually be heavily discounted. Every single phone I have bought except for this one, was under $150 and all were used. I still remember my iPhone 4, it came out in 2010, and I got it in 2012, it lasted me until around 2017. Seriously, that long. It was a 7 year old phone and I was still using it daily. If that phone has any value, it would be for all the contacts and messages and stuff that are on it. I don't even know where that phone is now though, to be honest. I made this video with that iPhone 4: Best in Bike Race Rank 1. I had to jailbreak my iPhone to get it to record the screen, back then that wasn't a built in feature.

I consider this phone to be the reward for abstaining from buying any other phone for years and years and years. Oh yeah, I had all those chats in 2015-2016 with that old iPhone 4. Crazy. That was so much fun back in the day. All the messaging and games and fun and everything were so revolutionary back then. They're kinda meh now. There were games like Words with Friends and Bike Race and Draw Something that pretty much everyone in my high school class played, and I would play those games with lots of girls on my friends list, yeah those were the days too. That was in 2012 though, not 2015-2016 like my Facebook was.

The lesson I learned from looking at those chat histories, were probably that I was unattractive and worthless as fuck to most women even back then, but I was ambitious. I'm still the same today, probably just as worthless and just as unattractive to most women. There were some that did really like me though, but they were fewer. What could I have done differently back then that could have made significant changes?

I could have worked out daily. I did exercise basically daily back then, taking 3 hour walks at night. At literally 9 PM or something, is when I would go out to walk, and I'd be back home at 12 AM. Back when I lived 5 minutes away from work driving, I would walk there daily instead, it was a 45 minute walk and it was scary to walk at night, but I still did it. I made a really low wage, not livable for that area. I only survived because I lived with my parents. I still remember signing on my timesheet $50 for my first day at work, and omg that was the best freaking feeling in the world, that was so much money back then, I felt so fortunate. I don't actually remember how much I earned that first day, maybe it was more like $70 or even more.

I write there that I did far more work than everyone, because I did. I didn't take breaks or anything from work, whereas my co-workers were not even sitting down on the table most of the time, but they were all signing the same amount of hours and getting paid the same or more. It was frustrating. I remember being promoted and moving on to designing forms, and when I was new at it everything was so hard. I eventually became the best person at making forms in the entire company though, after a year or two of that job, and I became so skilled.

The person who recommended me to get promoted was this legendary figure in my mind, not because of his recommendation, but his stories. We both had a lot of stories to tell, but he had more seniority than me. He was 27, I was 21. I'm older than that version of him today, and I have similar impressive stories. But at the time I was floored with this guy, just the stories he told blew my mind. Even today, they're kind of mind blowing. I would place myself as a sort of legendary figure too, on a pedestal, if I met myself and knew my past and I heard of the stories and experiences that I went through. Oh god I have so many good stories. The guy also has a bunch of good stories. I'm being intentionally vague and private about what we would talk about and tell stories about, but I still view this guy as a revered figure in my mind, he is on a pedestal.

If I could share some stories with him again, that would be amazing. I'd grab a beer with him and talk non-stop of the shit we used to talk about. We laughed so hard so often, we had the best time man. He was this super cool dude. Super thin. He weighed like 120 pounds at 5'10", a very underweight dude. I had mad respect for him though, dressed up cool all the time. There was no dress code at work, so everyone wore whatever. I seriously still think to this day, that he wore the best outfits, and this guy was the coolest guy in the world. I think being lighter is better, I weigh 205 pounds right now at 5'10", I would rather weigh 120 pounds though. If I could look as cool as this guy, that would me amazing.

There's lots of stories and everything. He has a famous family relative, CEO of a big company which was acquired by a gigantic and well known company everyone knows and uses. He left work because that relative decided to take him under his wing and teach him stuff, so he moved to California to live with with his relative in his giant mansion to undergo training. This was way back in 2016 or 2017. He messaged me like one time since then, actually maybe more than that, but I think I freaked him out with the reply message I sent him. I haven't heard from him since.

Those aren't even the epic stories I'm talking about haha. I can't even share the epic stories he told me, and the epic stories I told him. I just can't share them. They're so exciting and epic and legendary and I put myself and him on pedestals because of these stories we shared, but yeah there's no way I can actually write these stories down. Way too private. I never shared them with anyone either, just him and I know.

It's interesting, I was actually a vegan the whole time during my working career at this company, throughout my 3 promotions over 3 years, yet no one knew. Not a single person. I didn't tell anyone, I just didn't eat any meat or animal products the entire time I was there. The reason I didn't tell anyone, was I was obese in my first year of working there, I weighed around 240 pounds, so it was embarrassing to mention that. I did lose weight eventually, and I dropped to 170 pounds, my lowest weight, in 2017, yet I still just kept it to myself. Actually there were probably a handful of times I ate a tiny amount of animal products, peer pressured into doing so, such as being invited to a work party or work lunch and having no other options and feeling like I had to fit in. Probably as infrequent as once or twice a year total.

When I turned 24, the CEO and CFO of the company wished me a happy birthday as I was grabbing some snacks from the kitchen. They both asked themselves "what was I doing when I was 24?" both of them agreed that neither of them remembered what they were doing at 24. I was like, blown away by this. Being 24 was my entire life at the time, I was so surprised they couldn't remember such a thing so important and obvious to me.

Anyway back to the present. I barely worked today, but work was basically the only thing I did apart from buying the iPhone. I also had Spanish lessons today, and I also played Beat Saber today. I did planking for a few minutes today. I also listened to some songs on Apple Music and sang along to a bunch of songs and dry cried to Seven Years by Lukas Graham.

Oh, I also went out and got a meal at Govinda's Veggie Garden. It's $10 for this epicly huge meal that lasts the entire day. Seriously, it's a massive meal for a measly $10. The girl that works there is pretty hot, she's actually like 3-4 inches taller than me. I wear these running shoes so they give me around 2 inches of height, and today I saw she basically wore these flats or shoes without that much lift, and she was still quite taller than me. I feel like asking for her phone number and asking her if she wants to go out on a date, but I feel way too unattractive right now. I'm just so fat and ugly looking as the woman who blocked me two nights ago said. Like seriously, I would be approaching and talking to lots of women right now if I just didn't feel so ugly and unattractive. There's no way anyone wants me in my present condition.

So yeah losing weight is my number one priority. I weighed 205 pounds this morning. Hopefully I'm less tomorrow, but I don't think so. I ate this $10 meal at Govinda's today, and I always gain 1 pound the next day after eating there. It is just such a massive meal. It is seriously enough for 3 meals, I think. If I ate 2 of them, I would gain 3 pounds in one day. I have done that before. I did it because the meals were so cheap, just $10. So I thought, I am hungry today, let me buy two of them since they don't cost that much, and I gained 3 pounds the next day despite eating nothing else, and I had a hard time finishing that second serving. I finished like 1.5 out of 2 meals, and then I was so full, I left the rest of the 0.5 remaining until several hours later.

But yeah that woman is hot. Once I lose some weight I'm going to ask her if I can have her phone number. Just extremely ballsy like that. Why not? "Hola, eres soltera? Puedo obtener tu numero?", which should translate to "Hello, are you single? Can I have your number?"

I have been doing a bunch of crunches lately, 150 yesterday. And it is so easy to get up from a lying down position now, almost effortless. I can just sit up instantly, even though I weigh 205 pounds. Also I can hold a plank for around 1 minute 30 seconds, maybe 2 minutes if I really tried, and I weigh 205 pounds. Imagine if I weighed 150 pounds, I could probably plank for 10 minutes, maybe. I am still trying to see if I can get a crack at this world record. Does Guinness check for any performance enhancing drugs? If I took them, I would be open about it, saying I absolutely did take them. I think to set a world record, people probably used performance enhancing drugs, it would be extremely naive to think otherwise.

If there were any performance enhancing drugs that improved typing speed back when I was competitive at it, I definitely would have taken them for that extra boost. I was pretty much always #1 in the past 1 hour leaderboards anytime I went online on TypeRacer, but I knew of the existence of people faster than me. Sean Wrona was king for example, and there was also Fridah, who I beat a few times, and there was Birthday Memorizer, also another worthy foe that I considered superior to me. If Rektful and I played, he would have gotten rekt by me, we just weren't ever on at the same time. Too bad he freaking killed himself though, after all the fame, money, all his millions of followers, all his skill and intelligence, this guy kills himself. I looked up to him, and he just does that. Wow.

But yeah, there's no performance enhancing drugs that improve typing speed. It's all skill involved.

Anyway I am so sleepy. I'm going to sleep. I still want to change the world and become an influential person and everything, but it's so hard to do. I need to take it one day at a time. Just tiny steps. My planking is improving, I think.