Apex Legends is all the rage these days. It's basically a reskinned PUBG, but with a few perks. First, it doesn't look absurdly ugly. Second, you can play as an edgelord skeleton (HGR shelled out a ton of legend tokens to unlock the edgelord skeleton). Third, there are ziplines.
HGR to newbie: "What's the point of playing a game with ziplines if you don't fire while on the zipline??"
newbie was going on about HGR "giving our position away" and "wiping the squad." HGR said, "Maybe you should have shot them on the zipline too."
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HGR: "How do you know he's an edgelord, you don't know anything about him"
me: "HE'S A SKELETON"
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Meanwhile, I was reviewing my parses from the past few months.
So I am consistently terrible (but I knew that and am WORKING ON IT). More importantly, that's a lot smaller spread than I would expect. The difference between min and max item level is huge. The difference between dying and not-dying is also huge, because dead people do no damage, and being revived gives you two minutes of weakness. Together, you'd think it would account for more than 3%?
HGR thinks it's because of the different caliber of players beating each fight. He says a lot of players do EX primals, but not as many do savages. Titan is by far the hardest of the tier, and he has a strict enrage, so if people do worse dps than me they generally just don't clear (unless they're being carried. Gonzaemon Tanaka's teammates represent). So my performances are further apart than the raw percentiles indicate.
A better point of comparison: On Innocence EX, my adjusted dps was 7.8k. On E1S, my best was 8.4k. On Titan, it was 11.5k. That's more dramatic than I thought. To get a green parse on Titan, I'd need 12.2k. #goals
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