I'm Sorry Baby Bunny

We have 3 cats. They are indoor-outdoor cats. Not by my choice. I wanted them to be indoor cats. I tried my hardest to keep them inside, but it's impossible now. For one, the rest of my family just doesn't care and lets them out as soon as they start whining. I would have to keep all of them in my room and be subject to constant whining from them. Not to mention none of them get along so they'd kill each other in the confines. And second, our one cat would pee on the counters, stove, food, shoes, anywhere to show you how unsatisfied he was if you didn't let him out. Not to mention, he will attack you violently if you try to walk past a door and not open it for him.

I'm just saying, I never wanted them to be outside cats, but my family thought it was so cute to let them play in the backyard as kittens. Of course, they eventually learned to escape the yard and now they won't stay inside. Even when it was 115F outside or when it's below freezing.

Our one female cat died last year from something toxic she got into outside. It was very sudden. I accept that these things will happen because we allow them outside. I also accept that they will hunt, although the female (Lilah) was the hunter. The three males are complete idiots. I wasn't sure they really could hunt until Lilah died and dead mice kept popping up in the yard.

Well today, the youngest one (Silver) caught the prize. A baby bunny. Except I didn't notice until he ran inside and tried to put it down in the dining room. I managed to trap Silver in the bathroom and get the bunny who seemed uninjured but terrified.

Once we trapped it in a corner, I was easily able to pick it up because it was so scared. It was a tiny little thing. About the size of a month-old kitten. Very soft. I let it go in the backyard and hoped for the best.

I was an idiot. So stupid. I didn't consider it getting trapped in the backyard and another one of our dumb-as-rocks cats coming along to grab it. It was dark so all I saw was it hop off to the corner of the yard. A few minutes later, the oldest cat (Bellamy) was at the door. I was about to let him in when I noticed he had something in his mouth. NOOOOO! And he had a hard grip on that bunny. Unlike Silver who carried it like it was a kitten and he was its mother.

I don't think the bunny made it.

I did try to get Bellamy to drop the bunny, but he knew what I wanted and kept away from me then ran out of the yard with it still firmly in his mouth.

I feel sick now. It's all my fault. Even my husband said I should have kept the bunny inside in a box until the cats were all inside then find a place to release it. But in the end, it's still all my fault because my cats go outside and I can't stop them.

Poor baby bunny. I'm so sorry. I tried. It's early; I wasn't thinking clearly yet. I should have waited to release you when it was safer.

I had to take an anxiety pill because of this. I'm shaking because I feel so bad. So dumb.

EDIT: The bunny is dead. My idiot cat is eating it. This is the cat that's afraid of all bugs and mice. He will freak out and run away if either comes near him. Guess that doesn't extend to bunnies.