Nov. 6, 2021



At 10 am, Dell met us at the condo for the final walkthrough. It was uneventful. That’s a good thing. The seller left us a couple of floor lamps, her toaster oven, and her microwave, which was nice of her.

Shortly after we left, I got a suspicious text from apartment management: “Are you still occupying the unit? If so, do you have a projected move out date?” I didn’t respond. We still had the closing to attend, after all. Anything could happen.

The closing took place at 11 am. The seller didn’t attend but sent counsel in her stead. (So we never got to test Dad’s theory. During the home inspection, Dad randomly busted out “I think the seller is a Japanese woman” because there was a statue of Buddha in the living room and the furnishings/design felt Japanese to him. I opined she was American, because there was no Japanese decor—no wall scrolls, no kanji, etc.—and I didn’t think the Buddha was particularly significant. We’ll never know.)

Our counsel didn’t attend either. Instead, his assistant’s assistant teleconferenced with us; the title company forwarded her the same stack of papers we had, and she walked us through it page by page. Honestly, I’m not sure how much the lawyer personally did on this deal; all of our dealings were with his assistant, and then his assistant’s assistant for the closing. It’s okay. They can all go get a big burger for lunch now.

After the paperwork, we had to wait around 45 minutes for the wired funds to show up in the system. I officially became a homeowner at around 12:50 pm. An uneventful closing: you love to see it.

The afternoon was reserved for pre-move-in arrangements: we had guys from Lowe’s over to measure the place for carpet, and an electrician to see about potentially converting our stove outlet from gas to electric. Because of the carpet, we likely won’t be moving in for at least another week, but we can wait a week more, it’s fine.

As we were heading home, we got an email stating that the apartment building was “in the final stages of a long rebuilding process, with re-occupancy in sight,” and they had begun the process of inspecting units to certify their habitability. My first reaction was panic (did we do the right thing? if we just stayed bunkered down, could we be going home soon without any of this homeowning hassle?). But perhaps a more appropriate reaction would have been: Too late suckers!! We’re out of there!!!

Written by Achaius

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