11:41 AM (of Monday, December 13th 2021)
Today is Saturday, December 12th 2021 and it was an incredibly wasteful day today. AJN and I were supposed to go to the vegan market in Old San Juan today but she texted me saying that she was fully prepared for that today but since I haven’t changed (I haven’t lost any weight or become more disciplined or anything) since we last spoke, it was a bad idea to go to a place with a bunch of food. I said fair enough, because we agreed I would actually take my weight loss seriously even while my parents were here and that I would change by the time December 10th rolled around, but it came and I haven't changed.
Old habits die hard. Since she said that and I knew I wouldn't see her that day, I basically thought whatever, I can just laze around at home doing whatever. I just ate these dried seaweed and hummus and I ate some rice and lentils and veggie burgers, and I ate multiple multiple servings of these, probably over 5000 calories today while watching anime and doing “that” a bunch, this is all I did the whole day, I basically just had a very hedonistic day.
There’s several influences in my life that made me behave this way today. One particular person comes to mind, his person was cool, they taught me how to make a website when I was 9 years old and I looked up to them as the person to imitate, but I also picked up their worst habits. I slept over a bunch at their home when I was a kid and hung out with them all the time all day every day, and no offense to them, they still behave slothfully. Even today. They still just spend their whole day in front of the computer or TV, snacking while playing games or watching anime or movies, literally all freaking day just lazing around, so I think that’s where I got this crappy behavior from. I hate it.
I remember I would bring over my laptop, my really crappy and slow $800 HP laptop from 2008 with 4gb ram (a lot at the time), I still remember that. Honestly looking back, it was much better to shell out an extra like $500 for a Macbook Pro, because the specs of those machines were way faster and better, but I didn't know that at the time. In fact, the laptop my mom uses today is a 2008 Macbook Pro, literally from 2008, and it still works like a beast and I used it to develop apps and such from 2013 to 2014 (I bought it used in 2013 for around $500, basically all my money at the time), while my HP laptop broke in like 2009 or something, like the hinge fell apart and it ran so slowly just one year after I got it.
Anyway, I would bring over my laptop and we would play games like World of Warcraft. I got to level 60 at his home, after 44 days of /played time, which is a lot of time. I played World of Warcraft since 2004, people don't even realize it's that old, but it is. I played World of Warcraft when I was in 5th grade on a desktop computer that had like a 40gb hard drive (WoW was only 4gb back then and that was the largest game at the time), because this person played it when it first came out and I thought he was so cool and he influenced me a lot so I got WoW too. I learned so much from this guy teaching me things on the computer, because whatever I asked, he seemed to know.
I eventually learned how to do everything on my own though, but I still copied and retained a lot of his bad habits that he did, such as the lazing around at home all day and not doing anything, and just eating food all day and watching anime and playing games. He still does this today. Sure he has this cool setup and everything, but man, I really hate this kind of activity. I did it because it was so easy to do.
I think I was disciplined until my Spanish lesson ended in the morning, and then all hell broke loose. I just lazed around on the floor, lying down, watching anime while eating. It was such a slothful day. That was my whole day. I did nothing else. When I weighed myself the next day, I weighed 5 pounds more. Yeah I literally just lazed around the full day, didn’t even go outside or anything.
I hated myself doing this, but I had no idea what else to do. I could have spent the whole day walking outside, but instead I just watched new anime which I already know the main character wins at everything, because that’s how it is for every anime. I think it’s a common trope for the main character to be either extremely smart or really dumb, but they still win at everything they do. Or maybe they lose a few events in the beginning, but some event unlocks their hidden potential and suddenly they never lose again. Either way, I enjoyed whatever anime I watched.
I think today was the day I found out that my friend was coming to visit on Wednesday. I am supposed to be fit and not fat for when she comes over, that was the plan since I knew she was planning to visit for over a month, but wow, I stupidly did stupid things that whole time and even today. I always take one step forward and one step back when it comes to weight loss, I was already down below 200 pounds while my parents were here, like I basically hovered around 198 and 199 pounds the whole time my parents were here, but then I shot up to 201 today, and then tomorrow (Sunday) I'd weigh 205.7 pounds or so, crazy how I can negate all my progress in just one day, but then I dropped to 200.7 on Monday when I ate less on Sunday, but all of that should be for future entries.
Anyway that was my whole day today. It was very hedonistic, but alright. I learned from it.
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