Day 14 of 14 Water Fasting, Went to the Beach

12:31 PM (of Monday, January 24th 2022)

Today is Saturday, January 22nd 2022 and it was a normal day today. I think saying "today was a normal day" is becoming a non-sentence now, because it means nothing! Every day is basically a "normal day" with some exceptions. Like today is the last day of my and AJN's water fast, and we also went to the beach today. My main reason for wanting to go to the beach was to take some new photos of me in my new thinner body. I still look sort of fat in some places actually, so I still have weight to lose.

Anyway we went to the beach at around 2 PM or so, and she lied down in the sand for like two hours, just tanning. I lied down there for a few minutes and then got bored, and then started to swim in the water. The water was nice and refreshing, it's always cold when you get in for the first time, but after a few minutes it feels fine. I swam for around an hour, going back onto the beach and lying down and resting every now and then. I built a sand turtle. I tanned for a bit too, but I was restless and couldn't stay still for too long.

I felt really good today because I knew I wasn't so fat anymore. I felt pretty confident just walking around shirtless because I wasn't so big now. There's some feel good benefit from eating a lot of food, like it tastes good for a bit and you feel good from eating that, it's short temporary pleasure though. I felt much better pleasure from being able to walk outside shirtless on the beach in front of hundreds of people, not like they were looking at me specifically or anything, but I didn't feel embarrassed in front of them. Oh yeah, there were tons and tons of people on the beach, it was so crowded, though the picture makes it look empty. We took it at like the most barren angle and location on the beach.

I stayed up the whole night and ate some fruits at midnight. What I should have done is worked on my journal entries which I was behind on. That's what I should have done, for real. But I procrastinated. I hate it. I hate procrastinating. I hate anime. Yet why do I do these things? Why? I found some answer on Quora that it had to do with pleasure and dopamine, and some guy recommended to read the book The Molecule of More, so I got that book I think today or yesterday or the day before, I don't really remember. Though I already know the cause, it's addiction, dopamine, based on me doing "that" multiple times a day and feeling so much pleasure that all other activities feel boring.

Anyway. I did do "that" multiple times today too. Like it's been a recurring thing since the past week. You would imagine I would not even be able to do anything while fasting, but no, I did "that" probably over 20-30 times these past 2 weeks and I survived without feeling like dying or anything. I replenished myself with just water, sometimes oat water, sometimes coconut water. I need to do a dopamine detox which means no entertainment for a while. This is the only way to truly reset my habits and addictions, and I know this, and yet it's so hard to quit. It's so hard.

So other than going to the beach, at home I didn't do much else. I think I just browsed the Internet, watched videos, watched anime, and so on. Normal every day stuff.

Anyway that was my day today.