New Bracelet and Dating

12:49 AM (of Wednesday, January 26th 2022)

Today is Tuesday, January 25th 2022. I woke up full of energy, I did my typical morning routine of using the bathroom, drinking some water, taking my daily photos, and winning 3 games for Disney Melee Mania for the event, since I have to win 3 games daily. I also had some energy and free time, so I walked outside for 40 minutes, power walking, and I would walk 1 km per 10 minutes. I think that's a pretty decent speed. There are a lot of turns that I do while walking, even turning around completely many times, let's count how many turns I do per lap... There are 6 times when I turn around completely (180 degree turn) after reaching a wall and I turn around on the spot, and I counted 52 times when I turn a full 90 degrees left or right per lap, and a lap is basically 1 km. So yeah there are a lot of turns, so my pace would be a lot faster if I just walked a straight line, but that's never the case.

I turn many times because my neighborhood is actually really small, it is an "H" shape, where the paths are where the H is drawn. I take a really weird route around this H, and in one of the corners there's a basketball court and a park, so I do a square pattern of walking twice around the basketball court and twice around the park, hence the many turns. The 6 times I turn around 180 degrees are for the other corners, because they don't have a park or basketball court there, I just touch the walls and then immediately do a 180 degree turn.

I had my hour of Spanish lessons after that. My tutor and I didn't talk about much, just a little bit about our lives. We practiced words for body parts again, and also propositional words. After that, I worked and fixed an issue and submitted it, waiting for a meeting to be scheduled.

There was supposed to be a work meeting today, that my boss / client and I talked about yesterday, but yeah I was expecting him to message me throughout the day today about when we were going to have the meeting, but it just never happened. AJN and I went out to Punto y Coma early in the morning and it was a 40 minute drive. During this time I was just trying to hurry so we could come back home in time in case my boss / client messaged and asked me to call him, but it would never happen. On the drive there, we sang "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo a bunch of times, and she recorded some videos of us singing along and having fun while driving. Well I wasn't dancing around obviously, but I was just singing the lyrics and going along with the beat. She sent the video to some people.

At Punto y Coma, I wanted to buy out their entire supply of Nutritional Yeast, but the only had one in stock. So I bought that. Then since we were there anyway, we went out to Marshalls and I bought some 3-4 ingredient Kind bars there. She took her time though, checking out the dresses, and just walking around the store. I already finished buying my things and sat down on a chair near the entrance. I would text her every now and then with question marks like "?" basically implying I wanted her to hurry up, but I don't think she caught that. I waited there for like 20-30 minutes and she didn't even buy any clothes or anything. Just some vegan chips and dried mango.

At home, I don't remember what I did. I think I worked or browsed the Internet. I don't think I watched any videos because I don't recall watching anything. I did go outside in the afternoon to walk around again, and I walked for around an hour. She said she would make me this bracelet with my birthstone, which was Tiger's Eye stone. According to a crystal properties website, Tiger's Eye stone has these properties, "Stone of protection. Enhances confidence, willpower, and integrity. Brings good luck and prosperity. Protective stone, especially during travel." She put 16 of these stones on the bracelet she made. Oh, and apparently they're not cheap, so thanks. She also added 6 black obsidian stones, whose properties I'll look up later, and she also added a sacred geometry stone charm or something, it's supposed to bring abundance. She said the bracelet was 11:11, because there's 22 stones total, split down the middle with the sacred geometry stone charm, it's like 11:11.

She texts me every 11:11 here, or most 11:11's. Like when it's 11:11 AM or PM, she would text me "1111" or something similar. I would text the same. I think it's supposed to signify gates or something, I just see it as good luck that she or I looked at the time at precisely 11:11 when all 4 numbers were the same. She said she did that so that this bracelet would always remind me of her. I like it, it's a really cool bracelet.

Throughout the day though we had some fun conversations. There was this guy messaging her that we would meet up with tomorrow. Man, she just told me about all the guys messaging her and I was so jealous I didn't get that from women. Like she had lots of guys every single day messaging her, talking about a lot of adult topics. I have some matches and women I talk to, but they don't reply all the time. In fact I'm really insecure with them.

So she helped me rewrite my dating profile description and fix the photos I had on Veggly. It's so depressing. I mean I match with a decent amount of people, but I really don't know if people are interested because they don't reply all that often. Like Mimi, I linked her that one journal entry I dedicated to her, and now she thinks like I'm super obsessed with her or something. Geez. She's not the only woman I talk to, just like she most likely has a bunch of guys talking to her like AJN does. I think all women have a bunch of guys constantly messaging them. I don't write about every single woman I talk to every single day though, unless we meet up in real life or have a date or something like that, I don't think I will write about them ever.

But yeah, I talked to like 6 women yesterday, who I've spoke to for a minimum of a few days, some I've spoken to months back, and today like only like 3-4 of them replied back with something. And I had no new matches. I mean it is a little depressing sometimes. I talked with AJN about that, how depressing it was that I wasn't getting the kind of attention from any women while she was getting crazy attention from guys. She had to block a bunch of guys too.

I mean it's cool she's visiting me and I'm thankful she made me the bracelet, I'm thankful she helped me update my profile on Veggly and everything, also fasted with me for 14 days. AJN and I are still just friends and will always just be that, we both don't want any more than that. But yeah I just want a girlfriend and it can be so depressing trying to find one. Ugh. We'll call my guy friend on Facebook Drago, because that's a cool name, and we talk almost every day. I'm glad he talks to me. Like maybe guys like to message and reply a lot? Like when I told him I was feeling sad and depressed because I was single and didn't have a girlfriend and really wanted one, he sent me like 20-30 messages, long messages, with suggestions and advice and encouragement. I didn't even read his messages because there were so many, and I was too saddened by my own emotions.

Anyway AJN and I were just talking about this new guy messaging her that we would meet up with tomorrow. This guy invited AJN to his house, let’s called him Francois since he’s a French guy. And this guy basically revealed some of his deepest secrets to her, very private topics that probably shouldn’t be talked about with anyone. Like wtf. I was screaming "WTF!!" like the whole time she was reading out loud his messages. She was asking me for feedback on how to reply too, because these messages were way too deep. I would never have enough courage to talk like that with anyone, even someone I'm familiar with.

We also played Lizzo's Truth Hurts song here in the living room and recorded a video of us dancing to it. It's just for fun. She says she would post it on Instagram or YouTube for her 4000+ followers. I don't really care I guess because I'm a stranger in her posts, none of her followers would know me or whatever. And I don't really care if they did.

Anyway. Yeah. What a day. I also walked outside again, I forgot to mention that. While walking there were these two elementary school girls playing outside that came up to me as I was walking at around 5 PM and started talking to me in Spanish. Good thing I knew what they said. They were basically just looking at me and whispering stuff while I was walking before they just walked up to me to talk I guess. I just told them that I lived here, and walked away. I didn't know what else they would have wanted to talk about. Man, I stand out a little because I am Asian. I get stares sometimes when I'm walking around, and cars will slow down in the neighborhood, and when I look at the driver they're just looking at me. It's happened a few times. I always get the impression they were going to greet me or something to talk, but no they just stare. Like okay.

I'm just kinda so lonely feeling right now. I want a girlfriend. I hope this Tiger's Eye bracelet and obsidian bracelet helps. It's supposed to bring good fortune and protection. I get it, there's no proof any of this even works. Yet I don't think it hurts to believe in something positive, especially something so formless and ethereal, that doesn't really affect anything else except in a positive way. Like I can see how something like religion can be harmful, like it takes up thoughts and time to attend rituals, and it might have people spreading the message of something false, minimum though it would take up hours of their week at a time to be fully concentrated in this activity. Whereas, just believing in certain crystals having healing, protective, and good luck properties, I think that can become a self fulfilling prophecy, which is not a bad thing at all when the beliefs are positive to begin with.

Anyway that was my day today. I am so sleepy. I want to talk to someone interested in me. I want to find someone as interested in me as I would be to them. I still haven't found anyone like that. I am going to start water fasting again, starting tomorrow. So I can get down to 170 pounds. Once I get to 170, I can get to 150. Then I'll just stay at 150 because that's my goal.