7:53 AM (of Tuesday, February 8th 2022)
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Today is Friday, February 4th 2022 and I had a pretty bad day today. I wanted to fast yesterday and today, but I didn't yesterday. So it's only a bad day because I had expectations from it, that I didn't want to eat anything again for two weeks again, so I could lose some more weight and improve my appearance even more, so that I could be lighter and move more easily and jump far higher and be much more agile. So I have been very full of energy since I've lost weight, like I have always wanted to go out running every morning basically. The reason I haven't is other distractions. Something seems to occupy my time.
I don't know what it was this morning that took up my time, probably Disney Melee Mania or some show or videos or social media or something. But yeah I didn't go out to walk today, I didn't do 100 push ups. Maybe "that" too though. I have been far more active since I've lost weight, like 2-3 times a day every day basically, though honestly this is hard to believe. Whether I do it or not doesn't really mater, since I can just write about having done it, there's no proof either way, but I have really been doing "that" 2-3 times a day every day and it has been fatiguing me and draining me.
That's the main reason why I have failed my fasting, even though I want to fast. I feel like I have a strong urge to eat after doing "that" or the day after the night I did "that". So I ordered more food today, probably because I did "that" last night or this morning or something, honesty it's been a few days since so I don't know the full details.
I just remember that I completed some more work today, and submitted that right before my work meeting. I was doing some sort of entertainment activity before the meeting though, like maybe playing Disney Melee Mania or watching some show. I do remember some sort of entertainment activity taking up my time for most of the day. And again, I didn't even work out or exercise at all today, but I am pretty sure I had my Spanish lessons today. I think it was mainly raining today.
I think I may not have had Internet today either. Oh yeah, my Internet disconnected during the meeting, and would be out for like an hour or two. So I just read ebooks on my computer or browsed some social media sites on my phone.
Because of my addictions anyway, I felt like I had to do another 14 day fast and at the same time, do a dopamine detox which means no entertainment. That was my plan. It sounded like a sound plan. So I told some of my matches that, though I'm not sure they would remember me anyway after two weeks. Riley said she would wait for me though and wasn't going anywhere, that's why I like her the most out of all my matches right now. Aloe also messaged me tonight and I told her I would not be online for two weeks.
I told my parents I would be going offline from social media too for two weeks. I told them they can reach out by calling me, and that's it. I would also have my text messages turned off. I turned off all of my notifications. I wonder if I will even get any new messages or new matches in two weeks? I don't know. I should have stuck to my plan though, because it was sound and incredible. Fasting for two weeks and also dopamine detoxing for two weeks.
Honestly it was the perfect plan, everyone I messaged was supportive of it too. I really just wanted to end my habit of doing "that" and eating so much. I would set a new record for amount of times I did it in a single day on Sunday though, doing "that" six times in a single day, though I have done "that" five times some days before, that just tied my record. I fasted and did as much dopamine detoxing as I could on Saturday, but then I just let it all out on Sunday, by doing "that" six times, ate so much, and so on. I still didn't log onto any social media sites and all my notifications were still off, but yeah I bombed it on Sunday, and Monday was better, but I still relapsed a little. I can start again! Tuesday.
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