4:33 AM (of Thursday, March 10th 2022)
Today is Wednesday, March 9th 2022 and it was another long day today. I really have no more free time. This is like a first in forever, but yeah, I am genuinely busy and my mind and everything is fully occupied now. If I was busy before, which I sort of was but I had full control of everything, then now I am just insanely occupied and have absolutely no free time.
I woke up at around 5 AM today, and I just worked basically. I worked on writing some previous day's entries and got two done I think. I should work on two journal entries a day, that way I will eventually have caught up on all my past ones. I am so stressed out and occupied.
After my journal entries, I just worked on Vegpal basically. I was finally able to get the app to run properly this morning, figuring out the right commands to type into the terminal to run the app at the dev flavor. I tested out modifying some things there too and just played around with it. It's complicated.
Shortly after at 7 AM I had a meeting with Lia and the Vegpal development team. I got introduced to the team and got to learn about them some more, their development process, and all that. So I was assigned some things that I could work on, especially the back-end. Okay, I got to figure out these bugs and issues we are facing.
After the meeting, I just worked on the stuff I was assigned and didn't complete it by the end of the day. It's so complicated.
At around 9:30 AM I had a meeting with a CPA, or I opened the zoom meeting at that time. He showed up 15 to 20 minutes late. I just kept the zoom window open while I worked on stuff, thinking the meeting was not gonna happen, and then he randomly shows up really late. Appearance-wise he is a good role model to aspire to, he is athletic and fit and has a nice beard. That's what I want to look like.
Anyway basically it would cost around $5500 to $8500 to get my taxes done for last year. So I have done my taxes basically this whole time for years without much help except I did hire a CPA in 2019 to help me out but just for advice, and I paid like $2200 for that advice. Now my tax situation is more complex, sort of. The newest thing to the mix is living in Puerto Rico and having bought a home and running a business there, so I am not familiar at all with filing taxes there. Anyway they said $5500 one time payment basically to get all my personal stuff done. It would be like $2000 a month for my business stuff, which I could not afford since my business barely made anything. I declined their offer at first, but at the end of the day, after thinking about it a lot more, decided it would be worth it to me to get the personal taxes at least. This is going to be the first time I don't file taxes on my own, where I send it off to somebody to do it for me. I have to find another company for my business taxes.
I went out to Greenfare and Naked Lunch again with my dad today. Naked Lunch didn't serve any food today because their stove broke or something. Greenfare is a great restaurant. They are one of a kind in the world. They serve only whole food plant based with no salt, oil, or sugar in any of their foods. All organic and the best ingredients. Isn't that crazy? They are pretty much the ideal restaurant I think every restaurant should aspire to and they are a rarity in the world. So yeah, for sure, I think I'm going to be going there every day and giving them my money the entire time I'm here. They are quite expensive but for this kind of experience, worth it.
Also gas prices are outrageous now. It's $4.30 a gallon for gas or so. Last year I was here, I remember paying under $2 for gas. Maybe not last year, but like, maybe in 2020 or 2019. I do remember there was some time period in which gas was under $2 for a while. I still haven't been to any grocery stores yet, but I'm predicting the food prices are more or less the same as before, if they have increased due to inflation, they are still probably less than Puerto Rico.
I ate a bit at home and continued working. Lia and I worked on the pitch deck together. I was able to learn more about the app and the system as a whole, but I wasn't able to resolve the issue I was assigned. It kinda feels over my head.
In the afternoon at like 4:30 PM, my dad and I went jogging again. It was raining the whole day so we couldn't do it until then. It was still cold at 4:30 PM, but not cold enough to make it snow apparently. It wasn't that cold. I went out in shorts again and wore a jacket. I don't think the jacket does much more extra than a shirt, but oh well. I did take the jacket off maybe after or at the end of the jog.
I continued listening to the dating audiobook for women as I jogged, and yeah there was this one story where this woman liked a guy and for months he would be near her at the gym and after many months he talked to her for the first time but not ask her out. She kept thinking there was a problem with her, for him not asking her out. They finally exchanged emails after more months, and he finally invited her out to a bar after more months, and so on, each time she would feel some doubt and blame herself and talk to her girlfriends about the problem. Like it just went on forever, and they eventually touched after like a year and I mean nothing serious, just her grabbing onto his arm, like it was ridiculous how long this was taking and she was blaming herself constantly as the problem. Wow.
So I heard a complaint from AJN once that men can do whatever. I'm like, what do you mean? And she was like, "men can do whatever they want with no consequence", and this was meant in terms of dating and relationships. I didn't get it at the time but sort of get it now. Like it's clearly that guys fault that this relationship hasn't moved along but she still liked him even though he was timid and very timid and she didn't act on anything herself. I did know that women gave up control to men but I had no idea how much. Like, basically everything. They won't even initiate conversations with guys they like, and won't move it to a pace they want if the guy doesn't move it to that pace. Isn't that crazy?
Like I sort of already knew that was the case but to actually hear it confirmed. And to hear of this case where she literally didn't do anything the whole time.
After this jog and after listening to that audiobook, I got back home. Lia actually texted me while I was out but I told her I was jogging, she called when I said I was back at home. We talked about some stuff with the development, I told her about how I was gonna pay like $5500 or more for taxes this year.
After that call for some reason I felt really depressed, feeling completely overwhelmed by the current state and busy-ness of my life so far. I just kind of sat in my room, realizing there was really no one I could talk to about my problems. As a guy, I feel like there's no one to complain to or talk to anyone about any of these emotional feelings I was going through, that I have to suck it all in, everything. To get a sense I still somewhat mattered, I went on Veggly and superliked like 10 women and got 4 likes shortly after and started talking to them. I also started talking with Red on whatsapp and Mimi on Instagram.
I would say the top of all my dating prospects though is probably Wahl. She seems genuinely interested in dating and going out and she gave me her entire schedule basically. I have to make it clear though that when we go out to Disney World and Universal studios that it's for dating because I am interested in her. Then maybe I will get rejected by her after that, or maybe not. I guess now I don't feel as if all those times I spent messaging her long messages with lots of details, sometimes pictures, have not been a waste of time and effort. We made this unspoken rule though that we take a week between messaging each other, or take however long we want basically, because we're not set to meet up until like May or June, so it's going to be hard to keep up a conversation going every day like that.
I need to fast again, for real, to lose weight and become more attractive. I am still not happy with my appearance.
AJN also texted me and asked me for $150 to pay for her Verizon bill, and said she could give me the money when I got back to Puerto Rico or she could Western Union me the money, but I said I didn't care and she didn't need to pay me back.
I went to sleep at around 9 PM, maybe a bit before that.
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