Jogged for 70 minutes, lots of work, I want to lose weight

5:48 AM (of Sunday, March 27th 2022)

Today is Saturday, March 26th 2022 and it was a busy day today. I woke up this morning at around 5 AM, for some reason I have just been waking up at this time. I would sleep at 10 or 11 PM, and then wake up a bit after 5 AM. On weekdays my mom would be awake by this time too and she's playing music and preparing breakfast and so on, so I would blame being woken up by that, but I woke up at 5 AM today and there was no external sounds or anything that could have woken me up, so it's just my internal clock waking me up at this time now.

I immediately worked on Vegpal stuff this morning. It's become an addiction. I don't get paid anything for working on Vegpal stuff, even though I've been working on it for 8+ hours a day probably, this is all for fun and for the experience and education and possible CTO title and accolade for me. I'm learning about Flutter and Dart, and NodeJS, and many other technologies by working on this and it's been a lot of fun. I've become pretty proficient on this project for the most part, I still have no almost no experience or confidence with Flutter, but I understand Dart pretty much fluently now. Flutter is this framework where everything is generated by these "widgets", so I have to learn about and memorize them by memory, and I don't know any of them right now, except for the "WillPop" widget, and probably the "AppBar" widget, but that's it, I can't recall any others from memory.

Yesterday, Lia had this article published on us on Plant Based News and a bunch of new people started joining. Yesterday too was when I fully rolled out a new version of the iOS app (the Android app was released automatically a few hours earlier) and that was fun. I'm loving and enjoying this experience. Today I worked on some bug fixes and fixed a bunch of them in the morning.

At around 7 or 8 AM, my dad and I went out to the W&OD trail so I could go jog a half marathon, 13.1 miles, there. So we drive there while listening to the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson, making comments on the content of the book as we listened, and we eventually arrive. My dad is wearing a vegan shirt, basically a shirt with a vegan message like "Go Vegan" on it. We start walking down the trail to warm up, but the wind was freezing and cold. I told my dad we should just go to the recreational center and exercise there, and so we went.

I didn't actually tell myself to run a half marathon on the treadmill today, or I would have, I just wanted to be on for 120 minutes. Looking at these photos now, I was on there for 120 minutes and I traveled 7.81 miles. If I just stayed on for a bit longer, I would have traveled a half marathon, which I should have done. Anyway staying on the treadmill for so long is all mental in my opinion because of how boring it is and how slowly time moves. I jogged for 70 minutes from the 30 minute mark until the 100 minute mark, non-stop, and I had a pretty much inexhaustible amount of energy. I felt like I could have gone on forever. I stopped though because of the arbitrary times at 100 minutes and 120 minutes, and because I was getting bored jogging for so long.

There's no TV or anything that I'm watching. I'm literally just staring at myself for 120 minutes straight bouncing up and down. There's no music or anything that I listen to either. It's so boring. It's really so boring that I don't know if I can do this again. I honestly think I can jog for 10 hours straight without stopping, because I felt like I had that much energy, I wasn't even exhausted or panting at all in the end or even felt tired at all, even though I did get really sweaty.

My shirt was entirely covered with sweat, and it as so sweaty it went down to my shorts and made my shorts looked like I soaked them by getting too close to the sink while washing my hands. I've always wondered what would happen, or if it were even possible, to get so sweaty that the sweat reaches the bottom of your shirt. I had this idea that it was impossible, that the extra crease on the bottom of shirts would halt the sweat for some reason, or that the human body couldn't sweat that much, but I did it today, and the sweat just went down to my shorts right after. I should have expected that.

Anyway I do all these exercises and I don't think I'm losing any weight. I haven't weighed myself, but I think I am still out eating my weight loss. So really, I would be so much more effective in all this if I just fasted again. So I tried that again today, but I couldn't do it. It was so hard. I did 14 days of fasting when someone was there with me fasting, but by myself, at my parent's home, where food is extremely plentiful? No way. Anyway I am not happy with my current weight at all. My stomach is so big and I am very heavy and fat. Only one other person agrees with me that I have a lot of weight to lose, everyone else says I'm a good weight. They have no idea.

When I finished my fast, I weighed 183 pounds, and then I jumped up to like 186 pounds after a few days of eating. Anyway, I was very skinny looking sort of, back then, but I was still 36 pounds overweight even in that state. I don't know how much I weigh right now, but if I were to guess, probably like 190 pounds or something, maybe a bit less, hopefully a bit less. I've been running and walking like 100 minutes a day for a while, so I should at least be below 190 pounds now. But yeah I struggle losing weight even though I am obese and eat only vegan foods (which should be the norm in society, everyone should be vegan, torturing and killing animals then paying to buy their corpses and eat their flesh should not be the norm).

It doesn't even look like I am obese, but I am. When I flex my arms I have visible muscles too, and my legs are pretty strong, I can leg press the maximum weight on the leg press machine here at 415 pounds with 10 reps and I never work out my legs ever. I don't like leg pressing such a big weight though, because it feels so dangerous to do. I have a few videos of me doing it, but it is hard to start up and do reps on that much weight, like I do struggle and pant a little when doing that much weight, so I don't think I want to do it again. 290 pounds leg press is fine and almost effortless, and I can do 30 reps of those per set to tire me out, but yeah 415 pounds is a struggle and it feels so dangerous to do.

I just want to see what I look like when I drop down to 150 pounds. Like I have this imagination that I would look so hot and attractive at that weight, that I want to achieve that, but it's so hard to get to. I've tried this working out thing, and literally working out twice a day too, because every day my dad and I would go walk outside for an hour or longer in the evening, and I would sometimes jog during that time, and this is after all those 100 minutes on the treadmill in the morning too, and still no change in weight. When I fast though, I can easily drop a pound a day. But it's so hard to fast. I'm still gonna work out like 120 minutes on the treadmill, most of that jogging, every day just because I have limitless energy and need to expend it on something, but it doesn't seem to help me lose weight much.

At home, I looked at pictures of myself from when I finished my fast. Comparing today to back then, which was literally just a month or two ago, I was a lot better looking back then. I think that's the magic with me losing weight, is that my facial appearance improves a lot. Wait, isn't that crazy that was only a month or two ago? It honestly feels like it was last year or something. But comparing myself to last year is a huge change at least, I was super obese back then, though I didn't take any pictures during that time I think. I think I only started taking pictures again after I got this new iPhone. Anyway blah blah blah I want to lose weight.

After looking at old photos of myself from a month or two ago, I took a nap. Then I resumed work on Vegpal stuff. My parents and I went to Wal-Mart in the afternoon. I worked on some AYAT stuff this evening too.

I deployed new versions of Vegpal with the bug fixes I did on it, for the rest of the team to test. And that was it. That was basically my day today.