Day 3 of 14 of Water Fasting, before photos, and failed fasting

11:13 AM

I am not gonna lie. I have felt like giving up my water fasting multiple times today. But I looked back on some past photos of myself, and the changes after my first 14 day water fast were quite miraculous. So I am going to keep going. I am probably just a few days away from my lowest weight so far this year, which I think was 183.6 pounds. I slowly crept up that weight until my peak which was right before I started this water fasting, which was at 191 pounds.

My weight went up very very slowly, but surely. I ate a lot, kept eating so much, like 3000 or more calories of food a day, a lot of that is junk food, and my weight only slowly went up. Now I am water fasting and losing weight far faster than I got it up. I don’t even know how much I weigh right now, but I would estimate probably 186 or 185 pounds. Again that’s just an estimate by looking at myself in the mirror. So I think I am quite close to my lowest weight again this year.

I took all these photos today, so technically they are already 2 days into a water fast. But still, these will be my before photos. My water fast will end on May 5th by the way. I will probably be back in Puerto Rico by then. If there’s some black dots around the sides of my stomach area, that’s due to the noseeum bites!!! I scratched those a bunch and they left dark black dot scars everywhere!! They’re pretty annoying. I hope fasting also gets rid of those scars, but who knows.

I am very hungry and very tired, but I have to keep going. I have done this once before, I can do it again.

I am not joking when I say I feel like stopping fasting. I am very tired and very hungry and very low energy three days in. I am just lying down on the floor in the living room of my parents home right now. In another environment this might be weird, but literally both my parents are with me in the living room right now and I am just lying down in the middle of a path here and we are just hanging out and it’s all normal! This is so normal here. I would feel weird if I were visiting someone else’s home and just lied down in the middle of the floor, and was typing up some entry from there, but here it’s all so normal. My dad is sitting down on a chair and my mom is also sitting down on a chair. I’m just literally on the ground, ha, that is so funny.

Anyway this is all normal for me and my family because I sleep on the floor. There’s literally a bed in my room, but I sleep on the ground next to it. Yeah. For real. Really. I maybe slept on that bed for like the first two days here, but after that it was all on the floor.

Anyway, I hope to improve my appearance after these 14 days. That’s the whole point of this is that my appearance improves. I have freaking 11 days left to go, basically two weeks. Omg. Anyway people will probably say I look fine already, but my BMI is close to obese, so I have a lot of weight to lose.

2:40 PM

Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! This is so hard. My dad said he cancelled the bet so I can eat at any time now.

You know how I was able to so easily succeed the first time? There was no food in the home. None. And I had a guest I was fasting with. I couldn’t just leave the home to buy any food or anything. Impossible. Now my dad says he’ll cook up anything I want.

F. I think I might give up. This is so freaking hard. I don’t think I can make it to 14 days.

9:50 AM (of Sunday, April 24th)

Yes I failed today. I didn’t write any update right away because I was ashamed. I gave the excuse that I couldn’t concentrate on work because I was so hungry. But, I actually challenged myself to work like an hour or two just to see if I could, while still fasting. Then I told myself, wow I think I would be more productive if I ate again. Nope.

When I ate again today, I asked my dad to cook me quinoa and a veggie patty, I let myself go into all sorts of pleasures throughout the day. I spent the rest of the entire day watching anime and eating. I also did some whatever activities, not good ones, a few times. I did not do anything productive the rest of the day.

I was planning on walking outside today but nope, did not do that. Filled myself with too much pleasure and I just let it all go. I was getting so high from all the pleasurable activities I was doing that I didn’t feel like doing anything else. I don’t smoke weed or drink alcohol, I get high from probably arguably equally terrible activities, like watching anime and adult videos and eating lots of junk food. It was a stupid decision that I let myself go for no reason.

I read a bit of a book at night at least, before going to sleep, a science fiction book from the 1970s I enjoyed. One of my favorites. Books are really fun to read because they take you on pretty crazy adventures. But yeah I didn’t do any work at all the rest of the day. My argument for eating to be more productive was a lie, because it did not happen.

Anyway I will make these photos the photos to beat. I will exercise a bunch again and then fast again when I’m ready. I’ll do just a 7 day fast instead because that’s more feasible. Just thinking of doing 14 days just overwhelmed me. I should have just aimed for 7, then I would’ve been like, oh I am already halfway through, I should just keep going.

Anyway that was my day today.