9:48 AM
Apparently Bulemia is very common. It doesn’t only mean someone that forces themselves to throw up after eating. It can also mean someone that does fasting or excessive exercise to lose weight after commonly eating a large amount in one sitting. With that definition I am bulemic. That is exactly me! As I write this, I ate a very large meal and now I want to fast for like the next 5 days and do serious exercise while fasting.
I am also mainly trying to lose weight so I can look attractive and fit in really nice clothes and look good in everything. I just for once want to look super attractive already. I can’t really put on majority of clothing because they look bad on me. I have to wear specific clothes that make me look alright even while weighing a lot, and it’s not a large selection of clothes.
I went to a place on Saturday here called “the outlet” and there’s a bunch of stores there. It’s basically an outdoor mall. They mainly have clothing stores and also shoe stores. I didn’t even try any clothes on or any shoes on because I figured there would be no point. If I lost weight, I would look attractive no matter what I wore.
5:03 AM (of Tuesday, May 3rd 2022)
Anyway today is the last full day I have in the continental states for a while, for less than a month if things go out well and the date with Wahl goes through. That’s what I’m hoping for. I hope that in June 1st I’ll fly back to the continental states again, to Florida, and then Wahl and I go on some dates, I take her to Disney World and Universal Studios, and after that she comes with me to PR. That’s what we have planned and have been talking about anyway, but who knows if it’ll really go through. I hope it happens but who knows.
Most of my day was wasted today. I started off the day doing a terrible activity, and it just spiraled for the full day. I was in some meetings for Vegpal too, but I didn’t get any work done. I wrote a quick script for NW, but it took me hours to reply back to them.
My dad went to a funeral at Arlington Cemetery for a veteran friend that died recently. I did regretful activities while he was away. My dad and I still walked outside to the river for an hour, and I did 30 push ups, but other than that, it was a very unproductive day.
At night I worked on a task I had been procrastinating on for months, my taxes. This was basically stuff I could have worked on at any point I was here for the past 2 months, but I only started today because it was last minute. And you know what? I got most of the task done in just 3 hours. I could have done this just weeks ago and be done with taxes already but I was this idiot this whole time procrastinating on something that could’ve been completed so easily. But I didn’t think it could be done so quickly, so I procrastinated. I have to pick up where I left off when I get back to PR, but yeah it was not hard at all.
My flight for tomorrow (Tuesday) is at 6 AM and my dad told me we would wake up at 3 to go there. So I wanted a good nights sleep, but I was awake working on those tax tasks until almost 1 AM. Needless to say I woke up really tired and groggy wanting more sleep.
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