three hour monk

Most of our group plays Apex Legends, but at varying degrees of seriousness. HGR doesn't care for FPS games, but he'll play because it's a team activity. On the other end of the spectrum is newbie, who has an FPS training program and a detailed training regimen. It's a very newbie thing to do.

The other day, newbie announced, "Okay. Gonna do half an hour of aim training, then up for whatever."

HGR must've been quite bored, because he said: "Hey newbie, link your aim trainer."

"Uh...what?" said newbie. But he posted a Steam link.

"Okay," said HGR. "I'm gonna do it."

newbie was still completely nonplussed. "I...what?"

"Oh, it's not free. Never mind."

"I mean, it can be," said newbie. "Like, I'm so surprised that this is just on the house."

I checked out the link. It was comical in its seriousness. ("Stop getting wrecked in your favorite FPS! KovaaK 2.0 takes aim-training to the next level, with upgraded UI and graphics, custom playlists, guided training, realistic weapon, target, and dodging physics, user-defined profiles, performance analysis, and over 3,00 practice scenarios.") Do people really do this kind of thing? Well, I guess newbie does.

So newbie bought HGR the game (best kouhai) (seriously that's three games in a row), and HGR streamed it for a few hours while newbie helped him pick out training mods. You basically stand in a stone room and shoot bouncy balls. Each mod has different specs: big balls, tiny balls, erratically moving balls, balls with lots of HP, you name it. Seems like an entertaining novelty for maybe 10 minutes, but I cannot imagine doing this daily. HGR says it's more fun than actual Apex Legends though.

newbie suggested to HGR that he set up a daily schedule/regimen, a suggestion which HGR firmly declined. newbie also reported back to the chat: "Oh my god. Just this stream is worth the 10 dollars I paid to gift the aim trainer to HGR. 'Look there's three right next to each other!! *shoots all three* Get FUCKED.' "

Then numbers was like "god, if HGR is trying it, maybe I should too..." and newbie bought it for him too. What a team player.

Anyway, the next day, HGR started playing literally Shop Titans, so I assume his time with KovaaK 2.0 is over. Good thing newbie already got his money's worth.