July 1, 2022

paranoia and unreality

My phone has stopped ringing for calls. Instead it just purrs at me. It’s very annoying; I’m worried that I’ll miss an important work call because of it. I don’t know what the problem is. I double-checked all the settings. It’s set to ring and not vibrate. The ring volume is set to high (when I tap to test it, the ringtone is loud and clear). I don’t have “Do Not Disturb” on during the workday. Other sounds play just fine. In fact, one time I missed a call from my boss, so she texted “Call me” and I heard the notification sound and was able to call back immediately.

Anyway, Thursday afternoon, there was a purring in my pocket. I pulled out my cell phone and it was a call from Jordan. He said the boss gave us Friday off. Thanks, boss! (I had a moment of wildly irrational paranoia in which I thought, what if the boss didn’t give us Friday off and Jordan is deliberately sabotaging my work performance? Silly thought. After a while I realized it was the Fourth of July weekend, so giving us an extra long weekend makes sense.)

I had an odd moment of unreality today when I got up to drink a glass of water. The warm summer sun was streaming through the condo window, and I thought: what if this life is just a dream? It seems unrealistically good. Maybe I’m actually slumped on the floor somewhere in squalor, like that one Sharin character in her bad ending, a complete wastrel surrounded by candy wrappers and food debris. Maybe I’ll wake up someday and everything I have will be gone.

(But you should still focus on shoring up what you have while the dream lasts, yes?)

Written by Achaius

41 Views
Log in to Like
Log In to Favorite
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Comments

You must be signed in to post a comment!