River Festival this weekend, spent the whole weekend with C, snacking and sitting and chatting and wandering and it was heaven. It's what heaven would be, infinite time with her cracking me up and excited for what to do next and the sun shining down on us. We met with friends and also got chatting w...
Started yday with another trip to the jobs hub. She finally got a glimpse of my full-throttle panic, which must have been illuminating. Useful spell... but pointless. Came home to the vacancy being put on hold. Never even come across that term before. Googled what it meant, got a guide which include...
A couple of good games, now the dnd is back post-football. Monday group liberated the dwarves of Marazí--a quest added to the quest log in December 2018--and the Tuesday crew confronted Nassius, years after saying he was shady and they wanted to get to the bottom of what was up with him. Delightful ...
Well that's the end of the football. Nobody could say it was an unfair result. Overperformed to get this far, honestly. I hope nobody gets any stick for it. And only a year until Switzerland, and Jess Park looks a handful; feeling positive about it, despite the narrow scoreline v Ireland. Went down...
I have bought a sunlight lamp and spent an hour this morning shining it at my face while I painted my howling banshees at an even slower and shakier pace than normal. I hope it will do me some good. It is grey and flat outside the window. Even the trees, in full leaf, do not look very green. What a ...
Estrogen/depression levels: made myself cry three times yday thinking about John and Paul not properly valuing George's friendship and talent. https://youtu.be/1Ww5CDrVxmo?si=q34MWrrdL1PzLkiX Still no sun. Getting very afraid about the autumn. I can't go into it without some summer. I just can't fa...
The news coming out of France was astonishing, exhilarating. I kept having to get up and dance. When was the last time something good happened? When was the last time I believed something good could happen? The Fifth Republic might actually make it until August 2028 now. Only one more hurdle to go. ...
Had to change into winter pyjamas to get to sleep, dug my jumper out of storage for my appointment yday. Fucking July. Jobs hub was better than expected but absolutely destroyed my morale anyway. In a daze afterwards, didn't come home for ages, would have gone back to bed if C hadn't been working ...
Very empty day yday, horribly clear and blunt intrusive thoughts. Don't I deserve, at least, a more florid set of harmful imperatives? Dungeon was a blessed solace, especially with the force of conviction from everyone about their solidarity, vote-wise. Beautiful of them and made me feel such relief...
Terri's birthday today, she's off to Vienna. Must be a gloomy air there after having their story twisted so shockingly into disappointment by the excellent defending of the Turkish team. Starmer turning the big dial that says transphobia all the way up in the last moments of the campaign. Pointless...
Grey, drizzle on the way -- rain bad for cement. Hope the fenceposts aren't affected. Going well so far, tho. Old shed already gone. Day not bad in terms of applications, but 'what are the results?', says the night-time. Hard for the thoughts to not circle back to 'what if I never?', 'how much long...
The shed is being demolished. The view from the desk is completely different. I literally can't imagine it looking nice out there. Since the plum tree died there hasn't been anything nice to look at through the window at any time of the year. Obviously, you expect these things when you live opposite...