Having one of those tough days

When my wife walked away I went through a bad few months. It all felt oh so typical, like I was having a textbook depressive episode like in a Lifetime Special, and I think the absurdity of being such a dang NPC about it helped me resurface. Since then I've managed to be mostly ok. I'm trying hard to focus on myself, putting a lot more energy into my students and have been slowly coming out of the little cave I dug myself when it all went down.

Today, though, is one of those days where all the loneliness and doubt and isolation comes crashing back in for a little visit. It always starts the same, I can't draw. Last night I just couldn't make the lines happen. I knew it was moving in this direction so I tried playing games, talking with friends and doing all the things that make me happy, but then all those things just washed out and stopped working. Now I'm sitting here with a big blank spot in my mind trying to force myself to be "me" again. It's not really looking like I'll climb out tonight, but I need to keep trying.

Tonight especially I'm missing my pups. The house is SO quiet without them. The cats are doing their best to be insane like the dogs were, keeping it lively, but it's not the same.

I wonder when I'll start to feel normal again. I hope it's soon. I'm very tired.