July 13, 2020

A Better Day Today (Still with Chronic Illnesses)

After at least two days of feeling like complete crap and barely able to be out of bed more than a few hours, I managed a full day without feeling like I was about to die at any moment.

I'm not sure what the difference is today. Did I get more/better sleep last night? I can't remember when I went to bed, but I think it was a little earlier than usual. Was it because I didn't get up at 8:30am like I usually do because normally I feel better if I'm up before 9am and not wasting the day? Instead, I went back to bed after using the bathroom and got up for the day around 10am. Was it because I actually had some coffee this morning? I'm not supposed to drink it because of my blood pressure, but I obviously suffer without it.

I really don't know.

Another potential reason came to me earlier today which you can skip past if you don't with to read about "womanly afflictions," lol...

[skip to the - - - at the end if you don't want TMI version]

I've had seriously heavy periods ever since I had my last child ten years ago (literally ten years ago tomorrow). I just kind of suffered with it because that's what women do. It was really bad, though, to the point I could soak through an ultra tampon (the most absorbent you can buy) in a matter of hours. My previous doctor thought that might be contributing to my iron deficiency so despite having my tubes tied already, she put me on birth control to limit the bleeding.

And that was nice. I was taking the pills for 9 weeks straight then one week off. So that's about five periods a year. YAY! But my prescription expired and I lost that doctor. And I forgot to bring it up with the new doctor because I'm so addled and anxious in new situations. So I'm back to monthly cycles. Heavy ones. As in the other day, I literally soaked through an overnight pad in about 20 minutes. And then another and another. I went through four pads in just a few hours until I was forced to actually use a tampon because I was nearly out of pads (I hate tampons and only used them out of desperation).

It got me thinking that maybe I was so incredibly tired and out of it the last few days because I was bleeding so heavily. It's a possibility. I might email my doctor and see if she would put in an order for the birth control without having yet another appointment. I already know the stuff I was on works well, and I had no side effects. I took it for over two years. Plus she should have copies of my records from the other doctor by now (my husband called to have them resend them just in case because the new office didn't seem to have them when I was there last time).

I mean, that wouldn't account for all of my exhaustion, but maybe that was the reason the last few days just sucked. I picked up some lean red meat to have for lunch tomorrow and we had burgers for dinner to try and boost my iron.

[- - -]

TL;DR: Periods suck.

So, yeah, today has been a little bit better for whatever reason. I got up at 10am then made coffee which turned out superb. Like just the right amount of coffee taste and creamer. Then my daughter dropped the baby off in my room around 11am so she could get ready for work. Sigh. Another babysitting gig with no warning and I had no idea if anyone else was home to help besides my youngest son.

But it didn't matter because I managed just fine. I put DuckTales on for him (he insisted) and made a little bed of blankets on the floor and refused to put him in my lap because that's his preferred way to fall asleep. It's fine and all, but I can't just sit here for three hours straight doing nothing (because I can't reach the laptop or use both hands on my phone) while he naps. I need him to sleep on the floor/bed without being held. Eventually, he laid down on the blankets so a win for Gramma!

I even managed to fold some clothes that were in the laundry room. None of it was mine, but the pile of stuff was driving me crazy so I started folding and sorting it out. Then my husband got home from work so we headed to Walmart to find a birthday gift for the youngest. I wanted tomorrow to be something special for him because he's been stuck inside, isolated from his friends for four months now. He's normally a pretty introverted kid that would rather play video games than anything. Normally, I have to force him outside in the summer.

But after four months of being alone, he's starting to crack. He's obviously depressed and bored. His siblings are all teens/adults and I don't have the energy to do stuff with him. He's so lonely it hurts my heart.

So I wanted him to at least have a good birthday. My dad sent $50 for him so I ordered some Legos and Five Nights at Freddy's books online last night. They came today. Then we picked up some Matchbox cars and track set for him along with a couple outfits (shorts and t-shirts). It's not much and not really what I wanted to get him but there's such a limited selection of stuff. He still likes to play with cars when he can, though. I think he'll like the track that he can race the cars on. He can sit on the front porch and play with it and at least be outside.

I also agreed to make homemade pizzas tomorrow even though it's exhausting. I hope I have as much energy tomorrow so I don't disappoint him. I don't normally make any kind of plans like that because I never know if I'll be able to do whatever I promised to do. I think I'll be able to handle it if the other kids clean up the kitchen first and can help me if needed.

There will also be cake and ice cream and possibly s'mores if I can get the grill to light. I hope he has a good day.

Anyway, I didn't start to feel worn down until after we got home, I got the food put away, and was cooking dinner. By the time I sat down to eat, I was tired, having trouble breathing (but not enough to need the inhaler) and wasn't hungry. I did force the food down after all that effort. Now I'm trying to relax so I can hopefully still make the pizza tomorrow.

If only all days could be this "good."

Written by justanotherjen

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