Sept. 23, 2025

Mental Health Journey Day 40

Currently listening to: You and You Alone by Funhouse

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I hate being the ugly friend. Because of my ED, I gained some weight (I am currently on a diet to fix this). Therefore, I have more body fat than my friends. I noticed a pattern:The skinny friends always get compliments from other friends. And I get nothing.

Is it me who is ugly? Am I too fat? I guess I am ugly, and I hate it.

Some would say, that there are other qualities than beauty. Shut up.

I hate that I have none. I am not smart, and I am not really good at anything. In addition to that, I am not pretty either. I am ugly, dumb and useless.

I hate this soo much.

I wish I could be prettier. It makes me sad any time I look at myself in the mirror. I don't want to confirm the beauty standard because I love to wear fancy eyeliner and gothic clothes. I guess I try to appeal to the main beauty. Otherwise, I am considered ugly. I hate this so much.

An angel has lost his wings.

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Aside from that, I did some volunteer work. And I studied some mechanics.

I guess that's it. I don't have any energy left to continue writing entry number 40.

Good night.

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Written by Mysticochan

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Comments
Mysticochan
Posted On Sep 24, 2025

@rachelrae2003 yeah it's pretty annoying.
All I am currently doing is doing some fancy make-up. A person complimented my make-up. By doing good make-up, you can also get some compliments lol

Mysticochan
Posted On Sep 27, 2025

@rachelrae2003 I realised that. So many people are impressed by my eyeliner. I love to wear makeup.

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