Reflections on being called hot twice

7:57 AM

So I made two posts recently, one was basically some selfie video, the other was of me at the Vegan Paradise Fest 2026 here in Puerto Rico. In both of them, unsolicitedly, two random women commented that I was cute / hot. The posts barely got any views, the first one maybe 100 views, the second one probably 1000 or so, I posted that second one in a bunch of social media so it got more. These are the only two posts I have made in the past 4 months where I posted any parts of my face, and I got called attractive unsolicitedly by women, out of the maybe ~7 comments total, 2 of them were about how attractive I am. That's pretty awesome.

Being called attractive is my most coveted compliment, it's the compliment I desire the most. I think it's the hardest compliment to get.

On the surface it seems like it doesn't take much effort, being attractive is just based on your genetics and existing and being, but it is also the amalgamation of all that you are, all the decisions you make and exercises and diet, so it also takes the most effort.

I also don't really know what about me is exactly attractive either. I don't really know. Of course I have some ideas, like having good skin, a friendly demeanor, and being accomplished, but eh, what did it take to be called "hot" and "cutie"? I can't nail it down.

A woman that I think is extremely attractive is Melanie Laurent in the movie Now You See Me. Her face is just gorgeous. Another one is Carrey Mulligan in the Blink episode of Doctor Who. Melanie in Now You See Me was just perfection.

10:05 PM

I also can't really pinpoint what makes them so attractive, but they just are. I could stare at their faces all day and be in amazement at their beauty. Wow. I have talked to some women like that in real life and they were so easy to stare at because their faces were so attractive. That's kind of what I want, to be that attractive.

Anyway, today was not a great day. I didn't do much today. I did clean up a little. Not enough.

I realize now that I am a "morning person" at least. I do get the most done in the morning, just anything I set my mind to. I'm not a night owl despite me staying up late sometimes. I am not productive at night.

But yeah, what else? Oh yeah, something I realized is that a lot of people play a fake persona online and hide it. I had no idea Maddox from The Best Page in the Universe was just a character this guy was playing. I thought all his blog posts were legit, that Maddox was this real person, but they weren't real and he is just a character, the posts were not his real self but from a persona character he created, he admits so in his "When Fans Become Stalkers" video series. It's weird because I was reading his posts when I was a 9 year old elementary school student, this was back in 2003, and he was this college kid, I thought he was this real and arrogant narcissistic fool online, but yeah, just a character.

The character DaxFlame or Bernice Jauch III is also just a made up character, that entire name is fake too, from watching some "Is DaxFlame real or a character" videos, people have already figured it out. We know he is just a made up character because in real life he actually has several siblings, his name is completely different, and he gets his parents to call him Bernice in his videos. It's all an act and scripted because all his videos are like these supposed "real" vlog videos, but again, he doesn't even use his real name, and his parents use the fake name, so it's all faked.

The persona reveal that shocked the most people was probably LonelyGirl15. She was the former most subscribed YouTuber, she was the most famous YouTuber of all time at one point, prior to Smosh overtaking her. She used to make these vlog videos and people thought they were real. It turns out it was this scripted "Web series show" with writers, directors, actors, etc. involved. It was a shock to a lot of people that it was all heavily scripted from the get-go. People thought it was real for several months.

There used to be "AI" bots back in the day, 2006, that could respond accurately to anything. They weren't "trained" on a bunch of data like modern AI, but rather were just like a complete database of trivia and facts. I remember asking one of them what LonelyGirl15 was, and they correctly defined her as the most subscribed person on YouTube and even wrote a description about what her channel was about. From everything I asked it, it knew the answers to it, doesn't matter how vague the subject was. LonelyGirl15 is a pretty vague subject, yet it answered accurately. I was extremely impressed and would just ask it a bunch of questions, and there was really nothing it didn't know, and this was in 2006.

Athene turns out to be a character too, by Bachir Boumaaza. He was formerly the number one most subscribed World of Warcraft player on the entire planet, he was a hit and extremely famous. All my random real life friends knew him, my cousins knew him, a lot of people watched his videos. I didn't know he was playing a character the entire time either, and all his friends and crew were just there also acting their character. It is obvious now, because some of the character's acting was inconsistent since it was all improv, like Furious initially being a silent "boyfriend" and then suddenly changed into this talkative gangsta persona always carrying a gun later on in the series. But yeah, I didn't realize it was all a persona when I was watching him.

What shocks me is not that these were fake personas made up by people, it was the creativity to come up with these characters in the first place. Maddox has been writing The Best Page In The Universe since 1996 or 1997, something like that, one of the first websites in history. What compelled this high school student to make up this fake persona about some arrogant narcissistic asshole and write in that character? What compelled DaxFlame to make this fake nerd persona and play as him online? What compelled Athene to make this fake exaggerated gamer persona when he was the rank #1 paladin in the world at the time? It's the creativity of these characters that shock me, especially during the early Internet.

I don't think people play characters anymore. On TikTok and other platforms, people play as their real selves. It's all exaggerated now, and most people behave like fools. I really admire the creativity of some people. Where'd they come up with these character ideas to play as? It's interesting.

Anyway, I didn't do much today.