It was a mistake for me to fast and lose weight last year

11:29 PM

The photo on the left was me in August 2024, I weighed around 180 pounds. For some reason, I believed at the time that I was too fat and that I need to lose weight to get six pack abs to become attractive. A few months later in 2025, I probably fasted for over 30 days total. I did 2 weeks of complete water only fasting, possibly twice that year, within a couple of months of each other. There are journal entries of my thought process and what I was going through at the time.

I basically just wanted abs because I thought that was the way for me to become attractive. The girl I liked had abs. A girl I dated said she really liked guys with abs. So I thought that was the way to become attractive. I believed that I wasn't attractive, even though I had been in a few relationships and dated and kissed and been to bed with a number women. I have even miraculously done lots of activities with the woman I considered the most attractive and that I had a crush on, that she seriously considered me as a potential partner at one point. I've been invited to some women's homes, I've been directly flirted with a few times. It is freaking crazy that I considered myself unattractive for some reason.

And I do regret not taking a lot of these opportunities either. Some of these women that invited me to their homes, or were strongly flirting with me, they moved and/or I do not have that kind of rapport with them anymore. There are also some other women that obviously had a crush on me too, just from memory. Some would ask for my number, some knew me and would talk to me but I didn't know them, like I forgot their name. Some even asked if they could live with me. Crazy how these opportunities came my way at one point, and I didn't take them. Several of these came in the past year. I was too distraught with my appearance to consider any of these.

Oh yeah, so from fasting. I mean my initial fasting dropped me down to 155 pounds. That was the beginning of 2025. That was fine. I looked good still. I posted some photos and they got hundreds of likes and a decent amount of comments. My appearance here, although I was thinner than ever, was completely fine. Keep in mind I am 180 pounds on this left photo, and I already look thin. So imagine 25 pounds lighter. But my appearance was still fine.

I destroyed my appearance a couple of months later by applying this substance called minoxidil to my face in excessive amounts every day. I saw online that people were applying it to their faces to grow beards, and I got jealous of some of their results, even though I could always fully grow a beard myself already, theirs just looked more full. So I tried it, and followed all the terrible advice and instructions that people at the time gave. It just really dried up my face, aged me significantly, and made me look completely different from before. This was my own anecdotal case, but I have written about this excessively already, and have cited many other people experiencing the same thing, posting links to other people's stories with their own before/after pictures.

For some reason I thought the solution to this was more fasting. In hindsight, this was a disastrous idea. I fasted for another two weeks, or maybe it was five days, and during this time I would browse online skincare forums. I saw a particularly good before/after, and they said they used Red Light Therapy devices and a microcurrent device. This was the worst decision. I mean I just piled on 3 terrible decisions at the same time. I did all 3 of these at the same time, thinking it would help. I would sleep with the red light therapy device on too. I just did things to excess.

By the time the two weeks, or five days, were over, my face was hugely deflated. All the fat from my body was gone, but also from my face. The red light therapy device and microcurrent device completely melted the fat off from my face, and I didn't know that was my issue. I weighed 152 pounds, but my face sagged. Yeah I weighed 152 pounds, just 3 pounds less from fasting earlier. That's why I think I only fasted for 5 days this time and not 14. I probably shot back up to 158 pounds after my first fast, and then fasting for another 5 days resulted in dropping down to 152.

Anyway, it took around a year to fully recover. I tried everything. I mean I obsessed daily about recovering, trying all sorts of skincare and formulas and facial exercises to try and rebuild my face. I gained weight. I literally tried everything. It was the only thing I wanted. Thankfully I didn't go through any completely negative routes to recover like applying hyaluronic acid injections or an injection like Sculptra, I think these would have made things worse, but I was about to try them, I was desperate.

What ultimately rescued me were fat injections to my face. I saw on Reddit someone faced a similar issue, they lost all their facial fat due to some procedure they had done, and recovered by having fat injected to their face. So that's the route I took. That's what helped me recover. I'm glad to have my face back.

I think I look great now. I'm more confident than ever. I have posted some recent photos of me, and have gotten several compliments from different women. I wrote about having 2 compliments initially, and then I received 2 more from other women. I received another compliment from another woman yesterday regarding the previous photo in my previous entry, and then I received another compliment today from this photo I posted just now. So I have posted 2 photos, 2 videos, and I have received 6 "you are attractive" compliments from 5 different women. There were also like 3 compliments from 3 guys. I mean that is a huge confidence boost.

Receiving a like and receiving a written compliment are very different. I also kept note that there were several women that liked these photos, and that is very different from receiving a written compliment. It doesn't take much to like a post or photo. I mean yes some attractive women did like my photos, and I was psyched about that, but I don't think it means much. It takes effort to write a compliment, and most women will not write any comment complimenting a guy's looks. What feels miraculous is some women literally called me "cutie" and "you are so hot" as pictured in one of my previous posts. That's something I have always dreamed of.

I should really screenshot these, and compile them. Thank you. Thank you so much for these compliments. I have always dreamed of receiving them. Seriously a dream to receive such a compliment.

I stopped talking to AD. He told me his story about growing up in a racist environment in Finland in his youth, and he was part of some white supremacist groups. He said that was all in the past and that he regret being a part of it, but also told me that everyone was a part of it back then. Everyone he knew and everyone in his town. They would shave their heads, do Nazi salutes, parade that whites were superior and would get applauses. He said that was all in the past.

What made me want to stop talking to him was that he made some incredibly insensitive remarks, I don't want to describe them in any way. He apologized shortly after, realizing how truly terrible the things he said was, and that he was just saying what was coming to his mind. It really offended me. This is what made me want to stop talking to him. Just incredibly insensitive and offensive remarks. I can't believe anyone would say those things. But what I hate the most, is that there is some truth to what he was saying, some truth. However it does no good to know of it.

Anyway I will nickname the current person I am talking to as Pear. She will probably be my partner in the future. She hasn't responded to me in a few days though.

I'm pretty tired. There's a lot more I could write about. But I'm done. Exhausted.