10:38 PM
There is a book called The Mountain Is You and I've never read it, but I have heard about it. It's essentially a book about self-sabotage. For example, I arrived back in Puerto Rico last night, and upon waking up in the morning, I was extremely productive. In around two hours, I completed so many of my dailies. Look at all of them below. I didn't do all of them in two hours, but I did a decent amount of them in two hours, probably around 10 tasks, which shocked me with how much I was able to complete in just a couple of hours.
After that, I went to Viejo San Juan and did the NARD (National Animal Rights Day) march in Puerto Rico. It was fun. I brought my 360 degree camera and recorded the event, I had a very good time. I saw Eric and Gus, and even Mandy. I confirmed Mandy's number again, sigh. She left too without saying goodbye, so I guess I won't text her any time soon because that wasn't a good sign. But yeah, Eric and Gus were pretty cool at this event. I even met a few new people, but I don't remember their names, I think one guy was named Fernando, and that's his actual name. I talked to a bunch of people at the event too, I'm pretty popular most places I go for some reason, or at least everyone is open to talking to me, and I stand out most places.
It is pretty weird I think, that most events I go to, I do think I stand out. Maybe that's just my perspective, because wherever you go, your entire perspective is all about you. But literally a lot of random people came up to talk to me, and I talked to a lot of people, basically every person at the event. Okay, so no, this doesn't always happen to me. Maybe 6 months ago I attended that one party, I don't know if I wrote a journal entry about it, but this was when I was having issues with my appearance. At that time, no, I was invisible and I wanted to be invisible. But today, I didn't even try, and I was still so social. Weird and cool, right?
We marched around Viejo San Juan for the animals, everyone at the event is vegan, otherwise it doesn't make sense to claim to care about animal rights when hurting and killing them and enslaving them. The organizer Tony is an awesome guy, this is a pseudonym obviously, as are Eric, and Gus, and Mandy, pseudonyms. Although Gus is actually what we call Gus, I already messed that up, but oh well. I only knew what to say for some of the phrases, so I couldn't shout as much as I wanted to. Also my voice was not ready for some reason. Next year will be a lot better.
The event lasted around 3-4 hours for me. I was tired when I got back home. So I took a nap after eating a bit. I just cooked some rice, lentils, and frozen vegetables. It's so minimal but this is the best way to eat. If you plug in rice, lentils, and the mix of frozen vegetables like broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, etc. even just 1000 calories of this mix, you get over 100% of every nutrition, even thousands of % of some nutrition, except for Vitamin B12 and Vitamin D, those are the only ones I supplement for, and I didn't start supplementing Vitamin D until last year. I mean yeah I think that is the ideal way to eat, honestly, just this quick simple meal that costs less than $3, which provides all nutrition needs, protein, everything, and without hurting any animals.
Lentils used to be $1 per pound, and so it was around $1 for 120g of protein, now it is around $2 for 120g of protein, because everything has increased in price, it sucks. Rice was less than $1 per pound too, now it's over $2 per pound I think. Frozen vegetables used to be around $1 per pound too, even as early as a few months ago, but I think now they are more like $2 per pound too. But yes, even though logically this is the best way to eat for price, nutrition, ethics, environment, I sabotage myself.
So yes, the book The Mountain Is You. When I got back home, I completed the rest of my dailies, which was great. However, because I didn't like washing the dishes, I thought I would buy some foods where I didn't have to cook. So I went to Marshall's and bought a bunch of foods, and I ate like 1200 calories in one sitting just tonight, sabotaging myself. I already ate 1200 calories of the rice, beans, vegetables, and the NARD event also provided a burrito and a bag of chips, which I also ate. So I probably already ate 2000 calories by tonight, and I just ate an extra 1200 in one sitting.
My goal is to lose weight, and I sabotaged myself. I did take around 11k steps today, I did a bunch of chores, a bunch of exercises, but I still sabotaged myself by eating too much. And that's exactly what the book is about. I think everyone has some sort of goals in life, but nearly everyone self-sabotages.
It clearly just happened to me tonight. I felt good about finishing all my exercises, about doing all the chores, so I "celebrated" or "let loose" or whatever kind of excuse, and indulged myself. This is one step forward and one step back. This is why I think most people stay where they are, because they do this self-sabotaging. Everyone obese and fat wants to lose weight, yet everyone stays the same weight. Self-Sabotage.
Anyway, I need to be more cognizant of that. I am so tired of not having the life I want.
If I were attractive then I wouldn't have been ghosted by nearly everyone and Mandy would have been super attracted to me today. Ugh. I used to be somewhat attractive and the treatment was different.
Anyway I am sleepy.
1) Complete my dailies
2) Attend NARD Event
3) Sleep well
I completed all of my dailies today.
I wouldn't have chat with AD so much. Maybe just a few minutes is good, but I probably chat for a few hours with him today, and it's not productive.
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