What's my favourite tree?

I don't really have a favourite tree. But if I have to choose, it's probably guava tree. Back where I grew up, in my childhood home, my grandma's home, there was a guava tree in the yard. We used to climb and sit on one of its branches. I remember just sitting in there feeling the breeze. It felt like life is amazing, it was peaceful and there's nothing wrong in the world. I love being on that tree. I would go there when we play hide and sick; it was one of my hiding place. Though it was really obvious cause everyone knows it's a spot to look at. I would climb there when i am feeling sad too. When I want to hide from the world. I remember eating one of the fruits it bore, and there was a worm in it. I don't think i've taken and eaten one of its fruit again after that. Another memory of i had with it was i was sitting on one of its branches eating a banana, and my auntie saw me and teasingly called me a monkey. I got mad and a bit embarrassed.

I haven't thought about that tree again for a long time. It was just there. Just a part of the house. I'm sure i have more memories of that tree. But i don't remember much now. It's like a lot of my memories when i was younger is foggy and blurry. I miss when my memories were so clear. When i can recall so much details. But i think one of the reason that its difficult for me now to remember is because i feel a lot of hurt thinking about my childhood. My childhood wasn't horrible mind you. But it hurts because i pulled away from the people i grew up with. The people I love. The people that meant the world to me. It hurts because it forces me to face that gap between me and them in the present. It hurts and there's no one else to blame but me. I feel helpless and angry. I can reach out. But i am afraid. I am terrified.