Topics Beyond Human Understanding

12:33 AM

When I was younger and getting nearly straight A's in school, I kind of felt like I knew everything. I was a master at certain skills, namely web development, that I've been doing since I was 9 years old and in 3rd grade, that no one else I knew had the skills of. I had my first domain name, CoolMegg.tk back in elementary school as well, maybe I was in 4th or 5th grade, that website is archived on the WayBack Machine from 2004 or 2005. By the time I was a senior in high school, one of my websites received hundreds of thousands of visitors per month. Even today, I still don't know many people that has any web development experience. I don't count using some website builder like Wix or Wordpress as "true" web development although I suppose it counts too, and even then I barely know anyone who has experience.

So I was good at this certain skill, and when you are younger and have that ability, it is viewed as much more impressive than having the same skill at 20. I don't know if I have gained much more mastery of it over the years, since I haven't deliberately practiced in so long, so my skill has been stagnant. Still, the more you delve into any field, the more complicated it becomes. Then I realize I am basically an idiot in the grand scheme of things, because of all the complex rules and standards and technology needed to even have a website going. I just knew a surface level skill, like the ability to write down a word using a pencil, when there's so much complexity in having the pencil and paper made in the first place. Writing HTML is like using a pencil to write a character, it's just the surface level skill, when digging deeper there is so much more I don't know or understand.

It is all extremely complex. The lowest level is possibly electrons going through the circuits, but above that there are an unspeakable number of layers. There's the standards and rules for the web, the HTTP protocol and rules for how browsers interpret HTML/CSS/Javascript. There's the data and wifi radiowaves that go through solid matter to transfer data, which has its own wifi protocols and rulesets for how it functions. There's the graphics display, the integrated circuits that need exact electric power input and output directed at certain elements that will shine certain RGB colors per pixel and multiplied millions of times with all of the pixels. I mean I can go on forever, but it's all extremely complicated stuff. So complicated.

So ultimately in the face of it all, I do feel like a dolt. Especially as I'm in my 30s, and my skillset and mastery in any area is pretty pathetic in comparison for my age. There's definitely 20 year olds that outclass me in my own area of expertise.

What am I getting at? The occult and esoteric. As complex and complicated computers and other technology are, the real world is more mysterious. I recently learned about seed crystals. You can use crystals to make crystals of the same kind, that wouldn't be possible otherwise. Scientists still don't full understand how it works, they just have some theories on how it does. I don't know much about the topic, and the entire Wikipedia page on the topic is only two paragraphs, so I may give false information or theories regarding this topic, but I still want to delve into it further.

Let's say for example, you have a ruby crystal. They actually do have lab grown rubies now, and they use a ruby seed crystal. You can gather the same exact materials needed to create a ruby crystal, but without the seed crystal, you wouldn't be able to create it again. Isn't that fascinating? How does that work? It doesn't seem like a mindblowing topic at first, but it is fascinating there are materials in this world you can replicate by just having that initial material. It's like animals breeding and giving birth, you need two animals of that kind to have the same animal offspring, otherwise it's not possible. You can't create any trees without any seeds.

It's also fascinating that you can use certain rocks to create computers. That's all essentially what computers are made out of, a bunch of different rock and mineral materials. Yes. You can literally be walking on the ground that has some iron or copper or silicon in tiny amounts, and not even see that with these materials computers and iPhone are made. All you have to do is arrange them in a certain way, in a way that I feel is beyond my understanding, send some electricity through them, and voila, you have a computer.

The earliest computers were mechanical, and are also beyond my understanding. Geniuses. Before binary was used, mechanical computers computed things differently. Binary simplifies calculations and processes by simply having bits of memory in an on or off state, but prior to binary, they used some other methods which I don't even understand. Heck I barely understand binary, despite passing my computer science classes related to these topics. I barely understand anything. The more I learn, the more I realize what I don't know, and how dumb I am in the face of everything.

I can't even draw. My handwriting sucks. I am impressed by those who can draw, I am impressed by good handwriting. My ex had impeccable handwriting. I thought what the fuck, when I saw her sign her name on a form, my own signature was so shitty in comparison. That caused me to practice my handwriting, and I have better handwriting now, and my signature is also improved, but it definitely left an impact on me seeing that.

I feel like everyone is beyond me. I supposedly have an IQ above 130, in some tests I would max out and score 145, these are just from apps and websites that have IQ tests, I have never taken one officially given by a psychologist, but these tests are basically the same thing. In all of my brain training apps, I am in the 99th percentile in all categories. In the math game Quick Math Daily, I am rank 1 in every single category, by a significant margin. But okay, great, I am good at mental math up to a point, I am good at thinking logically and solving these puzzles and my short term memory is apparently top notch, but I see these video game developers who can code, draw, and make music, and I feel like a moron in comparison.

They also code things far beyond my current understanding. I wouldn't even know how to program a Flappy Bird from scratch. Maybe with Godot I could figure it out, but not with Unity. I still haven't completed any course on Unity yet, so I barely understand the thing. Actually, I could figure it out and create a Flappy Bird from scratch if I wanted to. I had a video game development tutor that taught me how to make my own engine in Java, and he was a master. I learned so much from him, that I don't remember now. I just remembered that he could answer all of my questions and could literally do anything. What the fuck. Best programmer I ever knew, Marek. He provided a $10/hr tutoring, and he was seriously the best.

But yeah, with Unity, the interface seems quite difficult to figure out. How do I make a 2D game from this for example? The whole thing when you make a new project is 3D. I truly don't get it. From the olden days, I remember you had to just make a flat surface and have the camera looking at it, so it was a 2D surface on a 3D world. Is that still how it's done today?

Anyway, there's also remote viewing. How does that even work? From the CIA experiments and Project Stargate, the researchers found that it literally worked. They shut down the program because they had no practical use for it, because it wasn't consistent and reliable enough, but it had amazing "hits" when it did. Some agents would accurately draw correct structures that were there, that there would be no possible way to guess correctly.

Imagine if you were given a random coordinate 38 degrees 32 degrees 26 degrees or something, I don't even know if these are proper coordinates, but imagine just being given those random numbers and accurately drawing what was there. The agents would close their eyes and imagine what was at those coordinates. I would draw pyramids for example. And then imagine if there were actually pyramids in that coordinate. How would you even know? The Gantry Crane that Pat Price was able to view was an exceptional example, he was given a random coordinate, and drew nearly exactly what was there, including a gantry crane in exquisite detail.

I mean there's just so many things beyond my understanding. There are no good guides or tutorials on Remote Viewing that would give completely accurate results. So this is a skill that seems to have not been explored at all yet.

All these topics are so overwhelming to me. Everything is just overwhelming.