Sept. 17, 2020

Birthday Today

7:08 PM

Today is my birthday, I turned 27. Whew. For the past 1 month I have been stuck on Discord and my other online activities. Such a bad activity and decisions. I'm addicted to these websites. I haven't had time to focus on my own life and do things that I used to or even work on my own projects, just because of these distractions and addictions. It's gotten to a really bad point. Most people don't realize the trap they're in, but I'm fully aware and conscious, and it's so hard for me to change.

Whew. Last month in August, in the beginning of August, I had really good habits and activities. Sure it wasn't perfect, but the worst part was something minor. If I had kept going down the path of who I was and what my activities were, I think my life would have been much better off today.

Anyway, today I took the day off work. I stayed at home, told my "partner" online that I was going to spend all day today working on the hard project venture we were working on together, that would have guaranteed to be profitable, but instead I slacked. I mean the project was hard, and it was going to take a lot of thinking and hours of non-stop work, and I was just so much more into excitement and energy that stopping and focusing on boring work just turned me off completely. Instead I watched some random movies, I chat a lot on Discord, and browsed random websites for hours on end. There were lots of laughs and fun times I had today, but was it worth it? I don't know, for some reason I think my dopamine levels have gone out of control.

Last night I only had about 3 hours of sleep, because I was on all night on Discord talking about a bunch of stuff. I think I have become a popular person in some of these groups. I have talked to thousands of people already, my private DMs alone have hundreds of people there. This is why I think this project I am working on will be successful, because I have a pretty good reputation online and I can attract a lot of people to the project I'm working on. It's depressing though, because I knew how hard ti was going to be, I mean I worked on it yesterday morning for a few hours and had no problem, but now I realize how much left there is and I got paralyzed.

Okay, whatever. I'm back on this site. I'm going to post again. Today was not a great day, I wasted most of it. The day still isn't close to being over yet though. I plan on working on my homework next, then uploading my logs if possible, working on journal entries, and then walking outside. I don't know if I can do all of that with the remaining hours of today, but I'll try.

Anyway time to get my life back together. I'm going to turn off Discord, and I'm just going to put on some music. Full concentration here.

Written by JustMegawatt

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