Sept. 22, 2020

Backtrack

tw: sex, sw positive discussion, honestly it's all lewd you should probably just see yourself out, you've walked into the nasty

I'm back in business, baby. Yeah I'm gonna make it big and live my life however the fuck I want...Why? Because "where exactly am I gonna go? To double hell?" I'll just keep living every day the same, but do it happily and might as well make some money while I'm doing it, right? I need the extra money right now anyway. I spoke to my housemate earlier, worried about possibly not being able to keep pet rats in the house and here they say I can have any pet I want as long as I care for it! I could adopt a dog again- give my life some meaning. Anyway....

Haven't been out a day and the nearly 60 year old john I met at the hospital called me up, and I merely mention the fact that I have one of those shitty free phones and have limited minutes, and he said he would buy me a much better phone. Like, shit, yeah I want that Galaxy S20+, BTS edition if you can fuckin find one! Ha! Love don't come free or cheep. And by love I mean......schmoozing....not like. Actual butterflies and rainbows and sunshine true love or whatever, that's different, but never mind that...

Almost exactly the same time a john I had back in the beginning of my college days when I was the poor starving artist struggling to get by re-added me on facebook. I cut straight through the bullshit and it's clear he misses me, so we talk a little and fool around a bit, so I figure I've got him hooked again too. Ha! Anyway we have a day already scheduled, he booked me October 3rd. It'll be interesting to be with him again after about a decade. I can't believe it's been that long, really.

I had talked to another sw'er about how they get their clients because I wanted to get back into sw myself and they didn't have any real advice for me other than "know my brand" which.....I know exactly who I am and who I tend to attract already. Figures shortly after, I ask God what I should do and....the answer seems to be go back to what I liked doing. Go back to what made me feel happy and free. Do whatever the fuck I want.

Even if eventually it turns out it was the wrong move, I will have done something.

Written by iyazo

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