I haven't made an entry in a couple days. My depression is out of control. I haven't wanted to do anything actually. I've barely managed to get out of bed to sit in the dining room while the kids do school. Which just adds to my depression because I'm tired and wanting to be in bed. Yesterday, the 10yo ran up to my room to do his Zoom meetings where it's more quiet and the 20yo yacked and yacked to me while I was trying to work in the dining room. So I got nothing done and felt even more depressed.
I'm trying not to get too discouraged. I just started doubling my mood stabilizer a few days ago (finally picked up the new prescription for the double-dose because I was nearly out of the original having to take two of each pill). It took about a week and a half before I noticed a difference in my mood originally. But then again, the difference only lasted a month or so before I started spiraling out of control again so not sure how much hope I can have.
I also started some new iron pills. Apparently, I don't have anemia, but my iron was low when they did the test. I'm assuming that means I don't have anemia yet, but it's probably inevitable if I continue without treating the low iron. I'm not sure how I got my iron up last time. A couple years ago, my anemia was so bad, my doctor was talking about blood infusions or possibly transfusions to treat it. I never got the treatment, though, because of insurance issues. I just tried to eat more high-iron foods and took some easy-to-digest pills. Guess it worked.
Anyway, I spent the the last three nights watching old Disney movies that I liked as a kid. The movies are mostly older than I am (made in the 60s and early 70s for the most part), but they used to come on TV a lot when I was a kid. I guess that whole nostalgia thing can help a little when you're depressed. I also started yet another new crochet project. I was just bored with the knit ones I have going, and I've been using this old afghan that belonged to my grandmother to cover up with. I think it was made in the 70s based on the color combo (not sure if my gramma made it or someone gave it to her, but it's hand-crocheted--I know because it started to unravel so I had to fix it). Anyway, I decided to make a copy-cat version with my own color choices but same design. It's going well, and I'll have something to pass down to my grandkids some day.
I'm also sort of taking today off from school duty. I slept weird so my neck is killing me and is causing a nasty headache. There's no way I could sit in the uncomfortable dining room chair for three hours today. So I handed over my phone to the 10yo who is in the garage doing his Zoom lessons then my husband can help him with his homework since he has off today. I'm going to finish watching the old Disney movies and work on the blanket, maybe get some blog posts written since I'm behind again, and try to rest. Hopefully, the increased dosage will start to kick in soon, and I'll be feeling better next week.
Med changes can really suck, I hope you're feeling better again soon!
Get well soon again Jen! For me usually one or more of these things will be out of balance (either too much or too little) if I don't feel great: Sleep, Food, Exercise, and/or Water.
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