Oct. 6, 2020


Today was a boring slog. I had to wake up after only a few hours sleep for therapy. I feel like she expects me to talk more than I do because there's a lot of awkward silences, but I'm not a very talkative person so that leaves me feeling weird and stressed out.

Just went through my mtg cards only to find my big longbox filled with older junk cards that I don't remember having. I went to check my deck boxes and they were empty. So either Jon or Darci probably stole them from me at some point. I'm trying to think about it as lost (very expensive) cardboard... I don't feel better about it. I wanted to build a few decks to play with my friend. I guess that I still can, but now I'm also just thinking about selling anything that has any kind of value because of how tight on funds I am right now.

Ahh I have a cut on my nose that's super annoying... I wish that it would heal already. My poor nose is basically useless anyway. Can't smell anything with my allergies like this and can't breathe either. I'm not sure if my allergies are from the cats, mold, or weather/outside stuff but it sucks.

I've noticed my housemates eating more of my food recently. I mean I guess I have been eating theirs but they went through 4 huge cans of tuna and I didn't get any of it at all. They ordered pizza the other night and I didn't get any of that either. I'm hungry. They told me I'd never be hungry here.... I've lost so much weight. I have trouble keeping some of my clothes up as it is, so I guess I had better be careful about working out too much, even though that's kind of a coping skill for me. I might be able to fit into my older clothes again...which makes me unsure of what to keep or sell/give away.

I shaved my face the other day and feel much better about it, although I feel that I already need to shave again, I really don't like this. But other than that I feel fine. I've noticed in my mood app I've been fairly stable, no more way up and then way down and up again, but I guess for the most part I just feel kind of tired and...meh....about things. So I guess the medicine is working and my hormone levels are actually fine. I'll find out when I get my bloodwork done, which I'm going to ask Jena about going to do when we go out in a few days.

I am so very tired.

I don't even know what the prompt is.....rodent or blade I think? I'm too tired to care much about it. I drew a sketch the other day, but it took me over an hour for just the sketch and then I didn't even finish it or line it or anything. Maybe I will eventually. Not now though of course.

I'm starting to suspect that Jena expects me to do the dishes, but none of them are mine. I have used a single cup since moving in and it's still right in front of me. I have my own water bottle and things which I keep clean but like....it's getting a little funky in the kitchen with flies and everything too, it really grosses me out, dishes are the one chore I hate doing the most. Anything else I usually don't mind.

Written by iyazo

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