Some Good News... Sort Of
- I think I figured out my keyboard issues. The only time my keys actually work (at least the main ones I need: 2, w, s and x) is when the keyboard gets warm. The reason they would start working after I payed Sims was because it heated the whole laptop up because it's a game running at full spec. Of course, the laptop got hot. Normally, I keep this Post-It pad tucked under the back of the laptop to prop the back up slightly. This makes it easier to type but also creates circulation under the area where the fans are at, keeping the whole thing cooler. This obviously makes sense because you don't want your laptop overheating if you can help it. But the other day, I was excited to find my keys were working when I first woke up (shouts of joy), and then I noticed the Post-It pad had slipped out, so I stuck it back under. A few minutes later the keys stopped working. It took me a couple days to put two and two together. Just that little bit of circulation and cooling stopped them from working. I took the pad out and now it only take trying to type for a couple minutes (enough to get the keyboard warmed up) to get the keys working. I feel this is some kind of success, and with the way my life has been lately, I need all of the successes I can get.
- I went and had blood drawn to check my lithium levels. I was only a day late (was just too tired to do it yesterday). Ended up not being able to do it at the lab at my doctor's office. No problem. I only had to drive to the next town to the new clinic instead of all the way into Vancouver (another 15 minutes). Since we were going by the doctor's office, my husband forced the 18yo to come with to make an appointment because she needs a referral to mental health and to get on birth control (she has those wicked painful cramps) and such. She hasn't had a full check up in years and is now too old for my husband to make the appointments for her. Of course, she has severe anxiety like me and couldn't get herself to do it over the phone. She was terrified the entire time we were in there even though I did most of the talking. I did tell the receptionist it was her first time making her own appointments and she was switching doctors and it was all just new and overwhelming for her. Both the receptionist and the lady waiting behind us were cheering her on which was awesome. They both told her what a great job she was doing, working through her anxiety. Anyway, she's now set for December 1. So hopefully she can start getting the care she needs as we've been putting it off too long.
- The medical supply store finally called me back about my CPAP machine. They were supposed to call and set up an appointment to get fitted for one and all that. It's been 8 days since my appointment which confirmed sleep apnea. But the call wasn't to set up an appointment. They were just checking my information and insurance. She said someone would call back in 5 to 10 BUSINESS days. Ugh. So not until December since part of next week is a holiday. But it's progress. Too bad my sleep has been getting worse and worse over the last few weeks. I feel so tired all of the time, and no matter how much I sleep, it's never better.
- I did set up an appointment with my mental health provider because she wanted me to check in after three weeks on the lithium. Except I forgot about it and waited too long to make the appointment. Three weeks would be next Wednesday, and with the holiday, she had no appointments left next weeks, so I have a Zoom meeting with her on December 2 (4 weeks since our last chat). Oh well. Not sure the lithium is working. It's hard to tell because the fatigue from the apnea is so overwhelming. Being this tired is depressing. I do feel less unstable so that's good, but also now I'm having trouble falling asleep at night. I almost miss the meds I was on before that were making me so drowsy after taking them because at least I fell right to sleep.
- We got most of our Thanksgiving shopping done last Tuesday before our state went back into lockdown. There were only a few things we didn't get (like the pies because they would have gone bad) at Costco and Walmart. I used the food stamps we got back in August as part of the COVID relief (because our kids are on the reduced lunch program). We even managed to snag a thing of toilet paper because round two of the shortages has started here. That felt like a win because there are seven people in the house, including four women--we go through a lot of toilet paper. There are a few minor things I still need and we'll try and get the pies on Tuesday if we can. But I feel better knowing we have most of what I need plus some groceries to get us by until after Thanksgiving (we were nearly out of food).
- And the best news... An old friend from my livejournal days randomly contacted me on Facebook to tell me to check my paypal. She sent me $200 for Christmas. I nearly burst into tears when I saw it. Many years ago, she sort of adopted our family for the holidays. The first year, she just send my kids a couple board games. The next year, and every year after that except last year, she sent me between $100 and $200 to buy gifts for the kids. Traditionally, I used the money to buy board games because of the tradition she started. She saved Christmas on more than one occasion, including one year where we had exactly 7 games under the tree (one per person), all bought with the money she sent me. This year was going to be bad again. My 20yo was going to give me $100 so I could tuck a $20 bill into a homemade ornament for each kid (including herself) and I was hoping my dad sent me $50 for my birthday like he usually does to get stocking stuffers from Dollar Tree and something for my grandson. With the $200 from my friend, I can get a little bit more. I already found a book on dinosaurs for the 10yo who is suddenly obsessed. It's just been such a relief because thinking about Christmas was so depressing.
So I guess today has been good in a way. I've had some good news to boost my mood a little. Oh, I also woke up to donuts because my husband came home from work early and stopped at Safeway on his way home for some reason. I love Safeway donuts, but rarely eat that kind of stuff because of my weight. That was a nice surprise. And thankfully, it's the weekend so I don't have to get up at 7am and can try and get more sleep. Not that I ever sleep or feel rested but... I'm trying to find the bright spots.