And Now I'm Stressed

Yesterday was going pretty good. After some caffeine, I felt okay and more alert than I have in awhile. I had hoped the treatment was working. I managed to get my keys working early to get an illness journal written. Then i had to order some bras for one of my daughters (after all of hers were eaten by the dryer) and while I was on the Target site, I picked up a Jurassic World LEGO set for the 10yo (who is now obsessed with dinosaurs) and some Mega Blocs for my grandson. All of the stuff was on sale because Cyber Monday so score!

After I got that ordered, my daughter sat in the room and we were talking for way too long until I pointed out she should be doing homework. So she brought her stuff in because she was now behind in algebra because she had been stuck on one question since before Thanksgiving. I had already tried to help her but didn't understand what they wanted either. She brought in these printed "study guides" the school sent over which have blanks for her to fill in the answers as she reads. Of course, she just got them the other day while she's at the end of Unit 1. We went through some of it but then realized the assignment she was on didn't have any study guides or much information at all. It didn't explain the topics and basically wanted the students to guess the answer (literally the explanation for the correct answer came at the beginning of the next set of questions). It was very frustrating.

We took a break to eat at 3pm, but I ended up helping her until around 5pm. She managed to finish her two late assignments but refused to do the study guides to be ready for the test she's supposed to take today. She did say she was going to finish the assignment for her culinary arts class once we figured out how to open it on her Chromebook.

After she left, I hopped back on Amazon and finalized my Christmas shopping. I always get anxious when I buy stuff because we have so little money--like I should be spending it on something else. But this was money given to me by my friend specifically for Christmas. I had something for everyone in my cart (except the oldest who is getting a handmade gift) along with a few family board games. It all came to just over $200 with taxes. I did good. I hit the complete order button, got the email confirmation of the order saying it was split into two separate orders because of delivery timing (no problem) with totals of $52.84 and $161.80.

All was good with the world. If my dad sent me the $50 he usually does for my birthday (December 13) then I'd use that to get stocking stuffers at Dollar Tree.

I spent the rest of the evening working on the gift for my oldest while catching up on The Mandalorian. I also talked with the 18yo about her upcoming doctor appointment because she's never gone in alone and her anxiety is crazy right now. I think she knows what to ask and is ready (it's today at 4pm).

I went to bed feeling good--like I got something accomplished and maybe Christmas wouldn't be a total wash.

Everything was fine until I got up this morning. First thing I saw were a bunch of emails from paypal. Four of them for four separate charges from Amazon totaling $25.75, $22.54, $139.26 and $160.81. Obviously, that's not all correct. The $161.80 was what I was supposed to be charged for the one grouping of items I ordered. So I get on Paypal to see I only have $266 when I should have around $400.

If you do the math, $22.54 plus $139.26 is exactly $160.81 which is what I was supposed to be charged. So I got charged twice for the same order because... I don't know. One seller put their total through, then the rest went through and then the entire thing went through again as a whole?

There's literally no way to contact Amazon about this. I opened a ticket with Paypal and they said they'd look into it and get back to me by January 15. Lovely. The $400 in the account wasn't mine. Most of it belonged to my oldest daughter (a gift from my dad when her son was born). The rest belonged to various kids, leftover from birthdays since this is the way my dad sends them money.

I also have no idea what the first charge of $25.75 is for since it includes tax. Now I'm afraid, I'll get charged individually for the other item in the 2nd grouping then also get charged the full amount. Or just get charged the full $52 on top of the $25. Unless the $25 was part of the $161 total. I don't know. On Amazon, it's showing the two packages from the $52 total have tracking attached to them although only one seems to be processed from the seller.

I have no idea what is going on, my Paypal is a mess, and Amazon doesn't give you a way to contact them. The only options are to look at the invoice or cancel the order. But then I'd have to wait for the refunds and reorder and by then it might be too late to get everything by Christmas.

I'm so confused and stressed out now. I've never had a problem using my Paypal card on Amazon before. I just used it back in October to order a Halloween costume for my 19yo. I haven't been able to lift myself out of this funk. On top off that, I realized that I screwed up one of the problems my daughter did on her homework last night. It hit me suddenly, just before I woke up what the correct answer was so now she's going to get that wrong because I didn't ... I don't know... figure it out earlier. Ugh.

And because I'm stressed out about all of this, I can't relax enough to work on the cross stitch project that I need to get done by Christmas that is maybe halfway finished. Oh, and the 10yo is apparently not participating and not turning assignments in on time again which is more pressure on me. Homework stuff is all on me. And tomorrow I have a Zoom appointment with my mental health provider. I don't know what to tell her. I have no idea if the new meds are working. Yesterday, I would have said yes, but now I feel like crap. It's hard to tell if they're doing anything because the sleep apnea has my brain so screwed up. I'm suffering from long-term sleep deprivation and lack of oxygen. I'm just a mess.

I just hope the gifts arrive on time. I don't see a way to hide them from the kids because they're always home and nosy as heck. I'll probably have to wrap them as I get them.

I don't know. I'm rambling now because my anxiety is so high. I should go take a pill, I guess, and try to relax.