Feb. 16, 2021

Bad Day, Plush

Glitch woke me this morning before leaving to make sure I was awake. All I wanted to do for most of the day was go back to bed. I got a strongly worded email from Jena about how they feel I'm being ableist towards them somehow and how they think I'm being manipulative. I really tried to see things from their perspective, but honestly I'm just going to let it go. A thing of muffins got left in front of the microwave, that doesn't make me ableist as if I was purposely ignoring their mobility issues. I responded by saying that I'm agoraphobic and rarely leave my room, which is true, so I don't quiet understand where that all comes from as I couldn't have knowingly done anything else. Reading that long email and responding to it took up a lot of my energy, but I still had to get a huge load of laundry done. I'm still working on that now and probably putting it away tomorrow after therapy. I have a bunch of alarms set so that I don't miss it because I feel like I really need it. In a way I feel better being off the antipsychotic and in a way I feel worse, because little else helps my depression. Lately I haven't felt up to working out or doing yoga and all of that other stuff. Glitch is helping to hold me accountable though and people have recommended that I just take it easier on myself.

I saw the Build A Bear Jolteon and Vaporeon for sale in a pokemon collector's group that I'm in. I really want to buy them, but I don't have the $140, probably plus shipping for them right now... It would be nice though because I missed them and already have Flareon. I really can't wait until Umbreon and Sylveon come out, but it probably won't be for a while. I did end up selling my Tomy Ditto to Glitch though because she really took a liking to it. She opened it up and gave it a good cuddle. I'm glad it went to a loving home. I have very strong feelings about plush. I see them a lot like I see people and treat them nicely. Of course, I grew up with The Velveteen Rabbit and it really stuck with me about how the stuffed animals would "become real." I've felt that loving connection with a few of mine, but not all of them. Some of my plush have names and backstories or special items that I've given them to wear or hold onto. I swore I would never grow out of that, and I never did :)

Written by iyazo

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