April 21, 2021

To Know Suffering

Today was kind of all over the place. I had my 1st vaccine scheduled for today and almost thought the driver was going to bail or be late, but we were right on time. Tony came with me, so it wasn't that scary. The pop-up vaccine clinic was set up kind of like an airport with long lines leading to where you would either get the first or second dose. It used to be a department store, but it was all hollowed out. Honestly it was really strange seeing all of the cops and military people around... The person who gave me my shot liked my A Perfect Circle hoodie and we talked about that and Tool- he was a cool dude. He gave the shot perfectly too, I didn't even feel a thing. They were a little nervous about me possibly fainting because I have a history of it, but only kept me for the required 15 minutes. I was fine though, just a little dizzy. Tony said he would catch me if I fell~ Of course now, hours later, it's sore as if someone punched me in the arm, but that's it. I was already sore all over today from moving and packing things the other day still, so that's normal.

Tony and I had to wait about a half hour for a ride to come pick us up and it was pretty cold out. I got a frost advisory warning on my phone and just the other day it was 70F outside. It also rained only in the backyard and not the front. I could see it rain out of one window and not the other. Tony noticed it first and it was super weird (Yes there was also a rainbow). I remember having to shut my window this morning too because it was cold and my room is usually warm. He kept me warm outside though and braced us against the cold. When we got back we decided to just chill again. We put on some videos in the background to watch and just relaxed. He was cleaning his room for a little bit, but eventually came over to cuddle with me and the cats. Lady, Mister, and Venus were all in the room (Venus used to be Jupiter, but Tony thought that sounded too close to her mother's name, Juniper, and also this apparently makes Glitch mad, so I like it). I was surprised Tony actually stayed up pretty late tonight. I didn't realize it was after 1am until I got back in my room.

I looked at my phone and there was a message from Jena, who I guess unblocked me just in order to DM me privately. They were desperately asking me for $200 this month and another $200 next month, saying things like oh I'm just a poor disabled mother raising two kids I hope you'll be sensitive to my needs. Your needs? YOUR FUCKING NEEDS? How about you take the money from that fucking hot tub you just bought and use that to pay your bills for your fucking needs.... But of course what I -actually- said was more along the lines of "I don't know what I'll be able to do since I'm going to be homeless, so if you need more help than what I paid for rent at the beginning of the month ($390), I'll have to see" and I fucking HATE myself for that. I have every reason to be spiteful and malicious and treat them the way they treated me. It's fucking hilarious that they denied me any more time to find a place when I was having so much trouble that I was physically ill for over a week, but now that they need something it's totally fine to just flat out ask me for more money, even though they're about to throw me out onto the street. That's fucked up.

F u c k i n g BEG ME FOR IT so for once in my life I can have the power of saying NO to someone who doesn't deserve my help.


Fuck the doomed, you're on your own

Written by iyazo

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Posted On Apr 22, 2021

geeeez I cannot imagine the nerve of being about to kick someone out on the street and then begging them for money. like...what??

Posted On Apr 23, 2021

@Achaius That's how I felt too but oh it got So Much Worse after just that. My entire day today was hell.

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