May 2, 2021


Welp. Apparently I'm not supposed to even walk to the bathroom with an IV in my foot like the nurses have been having me do 🙄 Now it really hurts to put the medicine in. They couldn't even do a flush of the IV, and they're worried about damage to my foot... They said something about an ultrasound (I assume to check for clots)?? Ugh. I'm so tired of this. No one ever really seems to fully know what's going on and I keep getting told different things, so maybe they won't do that, especially since the shift changed. (Update: Yeah, no, they didn't do it. Seemed to forget all about my foot after changing the IV site. They probably didn't leave any kind of note about it for the shift change. My foot feels fine now though.)

I'm basically out of places to be stuck with a needle at this point. Took 3 tries to get blood from my hand this morning... aaand they put the new IV in my hand too, which took 2 tries and is super inconvenient. I have to keep my hand and wrist straightened. At least they changed how they're giving me my vancomycin- twice a day in larger IV bags rather than four smaller bags, so I only get one more hour long bag tonight with my other medicine rather than two more half-hour ones, so my hand isn't also tied to a machine all day like my foot was. (They had to keep a solution running at a slow drip in my foot to prevent clotting. I guess they don't need to do that for hands.)

They said another day of IV antibiotics AGAIN and then see how I'm doing after that. It probably got pushed back because I threw up yesterday after the drains were pulled out of each arm and they didn't know if it was from that or the meds, so they stopped the one antibiotic (clindamycin) and I did feel better after that. Good because it also tasted bad... I don't know how being able to taste something going through my veins works, but it does and it's weird. Also had a migraine and slept all day after, but I don't usually throw up from those. It was so bad that the oxycodone and tylenol didn't really help at all.

Today has been busyyyy I've seen at least 4 doctors and even more nurses. I didn't get a chance to eat breakfast and they tried to take my lunch before I was able to touch it 😥 (Eventually I did get to eat, so no worries). I only had about 5-10 mins to attend church over zoom, but at least I was able to see everyone briefly. It gets lonely in here so I've gotten addicted to words with friends lol I mean there is a tv but...meh. Honestly I'm so worn out already I feel like I could sleep for another whole day.

They said the other day that they were going to clean and rewrap my arms, but then the infectious diseases doctor said to leave them covered unless they're oozing. The thing is they're wrapped in so many layers you really can't tell if they are or not. They weren't going to change them at all which I personally think is gross and unsanitary if I'm trying to recover from an infection, so I said that I want them changed because they start to itch badly after only a day, which sounds normal to me... I really think they should be cleaned daily, especially after she unwrapped them and I was bold enough to look for once.

Turns out I have 8-10 stitches that I didn't know about (at least 4 in each arm from what I can tell). I had asked prior to surgery if I would need stitches, but was told probably not... 🙄 Would have been nice to know they changed their minds... I did take pictures of each arm while they were unwrapped. The skin on my left elbow looks all warped from being stretched to the size of a softball and then compressed far too tightly in the bandage that it was actually digging into my arm. The right arm is surrounded by heavy bruising, probably from the injections from the first surgery. Both were stuck to the pads with dried blood and pus and definitely needed to be cleaned, so I was glad that I was rather insistant. I have a feeling there's still gunk in there. Both are really puffy and inflamed and infected looking. The pain is about as bad as it has been lately, if not worse presently, and nothing they give me helps for very long. I'm in a lot of pain now. They gave me toridol around 3pm and recently gave me tylenol, oxycodone, and ice packs. I told them none of this is helping. I keep getting sharp jolts of pain despite not moving around much.

...Actually I think I may have done something stupid, now that I think about it. While trying to climb back into bed after using the bathroom I always end up like a turtle stuck on my back and have to shimmy my butt back into place. Well I got sick of doing that and turned to grab the hand rail, hoisting myself back to a sitting position, but doing that with just my right arm would explain the intense pain there now. I really hope I didn't tear the stitches or something. Ugh. I am also sick of my own dumb ass doing shit like this and accidentally harming myself.

Tony messaged me earlier today and asked how I'm doing. He said he might stop by, but wasn't having a good day, so my guess is at this point he's probably not coming because it's after 7pm and visiting hours are only until 8pm.

The doctor told me I need to wash all of my things, especially bedding, and then run a cleaning cycle in the washer so that no one else gets sick. I asked if Tony would do it and he said "I'll have to think about it." So I guess I'm not getting any fucking help. When I get home I'm going to have to burn all of my energy doing laundry. Great. Love that. I was also told that I should take a diluted bleach bath. I'm sure that'll be just as fun. And having to move heavy boxes despite not being supposed to lift anything for a while once I'm well enough to be released. I should really talk to my cousin and uncle if I can about possibly picking another day. I don't know if they'll be available during the week though because of work and my cousin has her kiddo during the week.

I'm so tired... The pain is making my vision a bit blurry or occasionally white out completely (turns out "blinding pain" isn't just an expression after all...) and I feel a little dizzy. The nurse had asked me what I usually take when my pain is this bad and I told her I don't know because I've never been in this much constant pain before, with the exception of kidney stones, but I highly doubt they'll put me back on morphine. Even if it was just a small amount to knock me out, then I'd be asleep and the pain wouldn't matter as long as it's not sharp enough to wake me back up. Once I fall asleep I'm generally out until my body decides otherwise. Sleeping all day yesterday was really nice in comparison to this, even though it made me feel lazy. I shouldn't feel so guilty, I am recovering in the hospital after all...

Written by iyazo

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Posted On May 03, 2021

Definitely don't feel guilty! Your body needs the rest.

Posted On May 03, 2021

Omg wtf is going on 🙏

Was this pain comparable to kidney stones? I've also experienced kidney stones and it was absolute torment. I really turned my health around since those days.

Good luck, please get better!

Posted On May 03, 2021

@Achaius Easier said than done 😅 I know I need the rest though.

@JustMegawatt I wish I knew 😬 The pain was different than kidney stones and not quite as bad, but it's the closest feeling I can compare it to. Those pains from the stones were completely debilitating (I've had them twice before and both times was in the hospital on morphine for a day). This was also a sharp pain, but it's pretty localized to the wounds on my arms. I think maybe they just got sore from being cleaned, or from accidentally moving myself around using my arms too much. I'll try to take it easier until I get better, I promise! Hopefully I'll have some kind of actual news tomorrow about when I'll really be getting out of here and they won't tell me to wait another day again...

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