May 8, 2021

Moving Day

I had talked to my uncle about pushing back the time that we planned to move things. Ain't no way my ass was getting out of bed at 9am after packing until about 4-5am... Or so I thought. I woke up BEFORE my alarms went off and had to wait until 9 when the u-haul place opened to call. Good thing my uncle told me to do so before driving over because they didn't have a truck. The second place actually let me reserve it online, and they only had one! I guess it's good I ended up not sleeping well after all. The early rabbit catches the truck. There was a specific timeframe I was supposed to pick up the truck and return it by, but I ignored it for the most part. I got an uber to the tire place that rented the trucks and said that I reserved it online, I was here to pick up the keys, and I would be back for the truck later. I made sure she knew I would have it after hours and she didn't really care, so that's good. $20 to drive not even 3 miles and back! Wild... I don't even know how much the u-haul cost me. I think I was quoted $55. The might charge me double or triple the daily rate amount because they closed and don't reopen until monday, but I think since I did everything through my phone, even returning the keys through a slot, I probably won't be overcharged as much as I worry about.

After that I went home and tried to take a nap because my uncle told me he would be coming around 4. Since he had waited, he was able to get my cousin's Liz and Jakey to come along and help. I can't believe how big Jakey got! I still remember when the twins were born (Max apparently couldn't be pulled away from his computer to help, not even with a food bribe lol) they're 15 years old! Has it really been over 5 years since I've seen them?? Even Liz has some grey hairs now lol and she's only 36. I trust her judgement when it comes to moving though- she shared with me some of the drama that's been going on in her life and whew, I feel bad that she has been though so much! Plus she's bartending when she has a nursing degree... That might be a choice she made though, I don't know- nurses work crazy amounts of long hours and she does have a kid. She was doing both for a while I think because she does like bartending, but maybe not now that she has her kid (who is 3 now, and I still haven't met him!) She has apparently moved over 18 times in the past 5 years!! She's moved even more than I have and I thought I was bad... But that means she's a pro at packing and moving stuff. She said if there's anything that I need to let her know, because she probably has an extra somewhere, like a lamp or something. (I don't know why but moving a lot you end up with a lot of Stuff?? It's a strange magic). And Jakey is big and strong now, so he and my uncle carried a lot of the stuff out too.

While my family went to pick up the truck before we started though, I had a bit of a surprise- Brett showed up after all!!! I thought they had said they had work until after 4:30, but they also showed up right around 4 when my family did. When they went for the truck, Brett just beast-mode like half of the boxes by themself and got them all ready to go out on the sidewalk! I was impressed- but they are a welder and avid mountain/cliff climber, so of course they're very strong. I was so glad that Brett and my cousins came after all because I was worried for a while that it would just be me and my uncle. Instead I had Liz and Brett constantly reminding me to be careful with my arms, several times stopping me from grabbing boxes they felt were too much and taking them for me instead. It's such a polar opposite level of kindness to how Glitch and Jena treat me and my situation that it almost makes me want to cry. Sometimes it's really hard to remember just how much someone cares about you until a day like today happens and you know there are people who will bust their ass doing everything they can to help.

Meanwhile, I was SUPER PISSED OFF that Tony fucking LIED and said he wasn't going to be here from Friday until late Saturday night, but he was in his room ALL DAY while we moved. With Glitch. Guess we really aren't friends anymore. He can go fuck himself. I don't fuck with liars. Or thieves... I posted in the group chat that I saw my food processor on the counter and wanted to know where my keurig and the black crate they were both in were. Jena lied and said they found the food processor in the cabinet, so I guess they think it's just magically theirs now?? I know for a fact Glitch stole my keurig because before we broke up I said she could take it to her house because I wanted to use it there and Jena already has one here that I used to use. So yeah, I know exactly where they are. They're so fucking petty. Like ok now you're gonna STEAL from the disabled person who you are making homeless??? Looks great.

Packing up the truck took about 3 hours because of all the damn stairs and trying to avoid the sudden brief downpours (and hail!) that we were getting. Because of course that's going to happen the day I need to move my shit. Of course. Unpacking it into the unit only took 1 hour because it was wide enough and there was enough space for us to back up directly in front of the unit and just pull everything right out. I tried to keep a few things I knew I might need access to towards the front of the unit, but overall it looks like I managed to get rid of a lot more than I thought I did! I got a 10x9' and there's plenty of space still to spare for whenever I go back to drop off the last of my things. For now I have a huge dufflebag with all the seasonal clothes I wear with an extra space where I'll keep toiletries that I won't be keeping on me like all of the bandages and extra medication. My laptop and tablet will be going in there also. I have another smaller bag full of clothes that is essentially my bug out bag for wherever I end up going. And alternatively, a bug out backpack lol. It's good to have options. The backpack also has my umbrella and pepper spray (and vibrator XD), but other than that filled with a few outfits that mix and match well. It's mostly feminine looks, but they're comfy clothes that I like. I also have a folding table and tray, my dirty laundry and basket, my food, and a bag full of hospital approved toiletries I would be allowed to have if I do end up going back there, a towel and wash cloth, my pillows and blankets, my Mang plush, and of course my desktop which my uncle seemed very proud to find out that not only did I build it myself, but it's the second computer that I've built for myself! My uncle loves stuff like that because he's literally a rocket scientist. He work for lockheed martin, he build the stuffs for NASA and things that go pew pew :3

My family does not understand my pronouns though... They know I changed my name (do they know why?? Do they just think I'm a lesbian?? I mean the last few people I've dated were women so.... I don't know). They use my proper name (except for my uncle who accidentally dead named me once, but instantly corrected himself, I'm proud!) ...but they kept calling me she. I just kind of rolled with it and when I got into the car with Brett I was like "I don't know how to tell my family my correct pronouns, I think we're well past that point and I missed my chance." They're nonbinary, and thus transgender, like me, so they get it. They said that they're planning to move somewhere out in the pacific northwest by the end of the month, so I told them to let me know when they're free after the 14th (the day of my last appointment) so that they can help me move the rest of the stuff that I'm currently using and we can both get the hell outta here. They told me a cool space fact today. Apparently mushrooms were recently discovered on Mars. They look like puffball mushrooms and were caught growing and shrinking. So there's life on Mars! That's really cool. Space fungus. After we were done at the unit I thanked them and they went back home.

At the end of the day, we put $7 of gas into the truck and then returned it (I kept insisting to pay, but so did my uncle, so I put in $5 and he put in $2, GOD everyone in my family is so stubborn lol). We really did not have to go far at all and so my cousin asked me why I'm staying here. I got a storage unit that's not far from the house I left, but it's also closest to the shelters. She said that's no life to live, it will be hard, but it won't be forever. So what's tying me here? The only answer I could come up with was my doctors. She said eventually they'll retire anyway, doctors can change. She's right. Maybe I don't belong here. Maybe that's why I'm leaving. I'm not where I'm supposed to be right now. That's why I'm unhappy. I don't know what I should be doing or where I should be going though. I've had that feeling for a while though, like I'm on the brink of some sort of discovery, something I should be doing that would change my life... I just don't know what it is. Like it's being blocked from me somehow.

I mean... the place I'm applying to live at isn't even that far from here- though I did send in my application, ID, and proof of income today when I got back to the house. I'm worried that I'll be denied because I have no credit and the last places I lived, which I had to write down the landlord's name and phone numbers for... yeah they would probably not do me the favor of recommending me to anywhere. If I get rejected I really don't know what I'm going to do. Especially since my emergency savings seems to have ended up in a box and is probably at the storage unit right now. Shit. I didn't remember to grab it and put it somewhere safe. Now there's $2500 just floating around somewhere. Ugh. Well that really makes it my secret savings stash, doesn't it? I'm trying to think of what it may have gotten mixed up in and I have no idea. Last I saw it, it was on the floor near my food stuff and computer. Hmm.

My uncle also treated everyone to Five Guys for dinner. He let Jakey choose and it was between that and Chipotle. Liz and I had never had it before but it was good!! I usually get nervous eating out somewhere, but all of the tables were full so we ate in the car lol. Probably safer that way anyway because it was not well socially distanced and the place was mostly full of teenage boys. I don't want to end up with covid next from some high school kid... Please, no, I don't need that next.... They dropped me off at home after we ate together and Liz asked me about how many people lived here and why the hell were they all sitting on the porch literally ALL DAY?? No joke, Jena called up all her goons to be here when my family showed up and so Jena, Michael, and Glitch were on the porch from about 9am (the time we were originally supposed to start) until.... actually they might still be out there, for all I give a damn. I answered her honestly; they sit there all day smoking every day and they probably dropped acid. Liz was like "Whoooooooa wait what?! Aren't there kids here? I saw younger kid's toys in the hall and a teenage boy, how old are they??" and I said yup, Jed is 14 and he's a rapist and Malcolm is 6 and swears more than a sailor. I told her I don't have a lock on my door and Jed constantly kicks or punches it open, blaming it on the cats. She said she's really glad I'm getting out of here then and don't wait any longer than I need to, I should just get out of here as soon as I can. I told her about how Jena illegally locked me out and she asked why I haven't called the cops on them yet- Children and Youth Services would take their kids away so fuckin fast for just letting them do whatever all day while they dropped acid (which lasts a long time in your system). I agree, they aren't a good parent. Methinks I might actually look into that. I'm going to tear this family to shreds. I told them I did end up almost calling the cops when they locked me out and Jena said they we're going to tell "the whole story" aka all of their bullshit gaslighting lies. Liz has seen some of the drama I've posted about, I'm sure. She stopped me mid-sentence and said "No. Nothing she says matters, they sound fucking crazy and you need to get out of here." She's right. I don't care what they have to say about me because I know what's true.

I've decided that I'm going to take whatever I see that I decide I want to keep up to the value of what they stole from me (exactly $160). Sadly maybe they feel the need to steal from me because they have nothing of value that I even really want and they just like hurting people in any way that they can. So I'm just saying.... If I happened to find myself with an extra switch or the like, who's to say I didn't just "find it in the cabinet," right? After all... There is there slight chance they stole my savings wallet. If I find that while I scope out the place and the money's gone it's fucking OVER for all of them.

Now I gotta write my entry for the other day because I was soooo busy packing and getting everything ready for today and had back to back appointments and errands that day and ended up falling asleep instead of writing.

Edit: Oh. Thing I forgot to mention from the other day. The case worker from the hospital I stayed at reached out to the local shelter's outreach coordinator. She woke me when she called and I must have been having a nightmare because I was having a panic attack, otherwise we would have probably already started the screening process, but we scheduled an appointment for the 11th at 3pm, so I may be fast tracked to get into a shelter rather than being on the streets or going back to the hospital, as an option. I don't really want to go to the shelter, but who does?

Written by iyazo

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Posted On May 10, 2021

I don't think those would be fungi, whatever those creatures are that they found on Mars, would likely be a different kingdom not even part of any of Earth's. Fungi are decomposers, they just eat whatever organic lifeform is dead. So if there are "fungi" growing on sand and rocks on Mars, they would have to be an entirely different kingdom, not fungi. Organisms that can live off of eating sand and rocks.

But yeah that finding is kind of revolutionary, it means every planet in our solar system potentially has unique life on it. I read about it online though, and it's all just theories based on photos. None of it is confirmed but it looks plausible.

Posted On May 10, 2021

Also you said you wouldn't eat the homies, but you ate the homies at Five Guys... You think eating dog meat is gross right? To the point you wouldn't even try eating a dog hamburger if one was offered? That's how I feel about the flesh of other animals like cows, especially since I know how that cow ended up on that burger. I'd personally rather starve to death than eat such a thing.

And you got mad at me for picking up a stick. I'm not going to stop writing about how unnecessary this killing is until the world stops committing it.

Posted On May 11, 2021

@JustMegawatt On your dime, yeah, out of respect for you and your wishes, but I'm not a vegan and you can't control my life, not sorry. Spare me the facts and sad stories. I really don't care. I'm not going to read it. Write about it on someone else's posts and leave me out of it. I didn't get mad at you, I brought up the point of how ridiculous and contradictory it seemed that you try to force everyone else to be a vegan but you'd beat a dog. But yes, I would eat a dog burger. I'd try it, idc. I would eat a human burger too.

Posted On May 11, 2021

@iyazo Yeah I would beat up an aggressor in self defense. I don't think it's contradictory at all with my morals, is there something wrong with that? If a dog started to aggressively attack me, I should just not do anything back? This was an unleashed dog without any owner nearby, and it came snarling and barking at me very aggressively.

Sounds gross. I would refuse a dog burger and a human burger since what would I gain from eating it? Some taste? I'd argue the flavor really comes from the condiments and seasonings added to meat anyway, since I get all the same flavors with vegan foods. For proteins and other nutrients, I could also just get the same from plants, more cheaply too. So I'm just being rational with my decisions.

I would say it's very contradictory you'd get mad at me for picking up a stick to defend myself against a dog in self defense in which case my goal would be to just get it to flee, not killing it. But you would be okay if that same dog was killed and you ate it in a burger.

Posted On May 11, 2021

@JustMegawatt I wasn't mad at you, you're just fun to mess with. fuckin vegans get so angry lmao you're probably overreacting. It's a fuckin dog dude they don't just get aggressive for no reason. Even satos. But ok whatever... I don't care about your dog phobia either.

It's the circle of life. One day I'll return to the earth and become good food for plants to grow. Other things will eat those plants and in turn, be eaten themselves.

But yet again, and I can not stress this enough: I. Don't. Care. I'm not bound by your morality and have more pressing matters to deal with than you getting offended over what I choose to eat. I said this before and I'll say it again- I can just leave ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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