May 24, 2021

Self-Compassion

Today is a cold, rainy day. I was woken up a bunch of times and had to wait in the med line and had only less than 10 minutes to eat again, by the time someone was able to bring me down to the cafeteria. They let me bring my coffee back and I tried to take a nap which kept getting interrupted. The psychiatrist finally listened about changing my sleep meds back to normal tonight because this clearly isn't working out. Leftover cold coffee is better than none.

The surgical pain is better today, surprisingly, but Dr. Mike finally started addressing the issue and readded my voltaren gel which I can use on my arms, legs, neck, and back. It helps a lot more than you might think. I didn't think it would do much for the nerve damage.

Lunch was pushed back from 12:45 to 1:30 so we got snacks (popcorn). Sam let me use the only headphones on the unit to listen to music. They have a chip with a random mix of music on it, it's not great but it's better than nothing. Yoga class was harder than expected post-surgery. It's hard to cope with not being able to do things I used to be able to do before surgery.

Called Zoey and got approval to come home to my new home! It was a huge relief to no longer be homeless and know I have somewhere safe to go when I'm discharged.

Met a new patient, Alex, who recognized me from walking around an area known locally as The Triangle in a place I used to live in several years ago- wild! (I had cool memorable hair lol). I felt separated from the group we had formed even after they saw me standing there uselessly and invited me over. I couldn't really get a chance to speak. Everyone's more interested in the younger, prettier new girl... Alex is nice, but I am a little jealous.

Nurse Rob remembered me and asked how the situation with Jaysin went and I told him. He said he had worried about me leaving with him. I think they should have rules in place against recent patients going home with other recent patients... it just doesn't go well. He said that he had wanted to talk to me on Friday night, but I was already asleep with a blanket over my head. He seems a little too interested in me and he's quite a bit older. He doesn't look his age, but he's 54.

So many people said it was good to see me smile today.

Written by iyazo

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