Aug. 18, 2021

Weekly review Aug 1 - 8 WHAT THE TRUCK MAN!

You can do better than that

How are you going to start again, how to overcome this Resistance. Life is running and you are staying behind, making excuses, and not moving towards your goal and to fulfill what you are here to do.

It's as hard as it can get, and I haven't really do something with all I got, It's being a long time since I gave my best at something, and someone can argue that I've never done that before. 

But I really don't know the path or paths, and that is my resistance. I can divide it into tasks and have the next thing to do but then I don't have the motivation, something else comes up, something urgent that pulls me to the other side, and then something else, and so on and so on.

 

How??? 

Drive? Ambition? Routine but settledness (steady job, not doing shit else)? constant motivation (if that even exists), our habits, and our lifestyle.

This is actually a very sad weekly review. The previous introduction is a piece of my heart. Not to review it, not to publish it, just to pour down the pain in my heart.

In general, the week was from good to bad to worst. I started working a little bit on Monday, Bitcoin price and some other small results got me a bit hype or motivated on Monday, but still didn't start doing shit for real/

Life is hard just as it is, now trying to start something new, to create, to learn, to EXERT myself, which is the purpose of life, makes it so difficult. And doing many of these things at the same time is a Herculean task. I'm part of them, not that few, type of people that thinks Hercules was a real hero and we try to be like him. Tasks over tasks projects over projects a job for a demi-god that we think we can accomplish and become something like that.

Is so unrealistic, and Instagram, FB, and all those success stories that "motivate" us, actually push us to keep doing this and keep trying. Of course, without any real results. 

Ok, the week. I felt powerless, sad, and had many other negative feelings. This brought me to my state of mind where I stopped in the "I'm fine" station, I'm making money with my BTC holdings, I'm trying to work something out about my life and my projects but nothing really works out. 

Duolingo and practicing Portuguese with Lucas was a nice start for the week. But, again, getting the great vacation story of my friend makes me think about a possible future where I will be doing that, where I will have all I want and be ok with myself, a future which is not even close right now and that it will take a lot to get there. 

Written by johanam

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