Sept. 23, 2021

Chronic Fatigue Sucks

I can't get anything done like this. I used to be able to start cleaning at 8am and finish the whole house by noon while taking care of a 4yo and infant. Today, I managed to make some coffee and load the dishwasher in the morning but was too tired to do anything else until I drank the coffee. Around 9am (2 1/2 hours after I got up), I finally got busy cleaning. I finished cleaning the carpet in the downstairs hall and then the section of the living room from the hall to the kitchen (like 6 feet long by 4 feet wide). All I have to do is push a carpet cleaner back and forth (although it weighs a ridiculous amount), occasionally dumping the water collected or filling the tank.

That was it. That's all I did, and it wore me out for the entire day. I couldn't work on my writing projects after that because I was so tired, I couldn't think or focus on anything. I watched some TV but barely remember anything I watched then took a 2+ hour nap (waking up feeling groggy and with a headache as usual).

I still have the rest of the living room carpet to do which requires me pick up all of my grandson's toys (again), move a bunch of furniture, and vacuum before I can even start the cleaning. It's twice as big a space as what I've already done and that took me two days already. Never mind, I have a bunch of other stuff to also clean. We're out of leftovers so I also have to cook tomorrow which will make a huge mess in the kitchen. I have to mop but we have stupid laminate floors so you can only use a Swiffer. Of course, our Swiffer is broken (doesn't spray and the handle is cracked). I'm not allowed to buy a new one or any pads for it, so I had to crochet a pad instead. Then I mix Murphy's Oil Soap and water in a spray bottle and manually spray the floor then use the Swiffer over it.

Half the downstairs is wood floors. It's going to take an hour at least, and I'll probably end up on my hands and knees scrubbing at some point. The boys are supposed to clean the bathroom on Saturday, but most likely I'll end up doing it because they'll bitch and moan about how gross it is and only do it half-assed. It's gross from them. Only the men use that bathroom (husband, 19yo and 11yo sons). None of us women will go in there because it's disgusting. It literally gets cleaned once a year.

I'm so tired all of the time. This isn't about being lazy (I can be lazy, but I know how to work hard). It's not excuses. I literally can't do anything because I get so worn out I'm literally walking into walls and can't see straight. That's not a euphemism. I literally cannot see because the muscles in my eyes stop working--they stop focusing so I can't see. This is pretty much every day even if I don't do anything. But if I'm not doing much physically, I can usually get by with an hour nap then recover enough to do more non-physical things. When I have to do physical work... well, I get maybe 30-60 minutes of work and that's it. I'm done for the entire day. No amount of napping will perk me back up. I will just be physically and mentally exhausted the rest of the day.

I've heard people say chronic fatigue isn't a real thing, and it's just an excuse to not have to do anything and be lazy. Bullshit. This doesn't just affect me when I have to do labor. I don't have the energy to do anything. I can't work or clean my house or do things I used to enjoy like riding a bike or hiking. I can barely walk around my house without getting worn out. And nothings seems to help. This isn't living. It's just surviving at this point. And it sucks.

Written by justanotherjen

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Comments
JustMegawatt
Posted On Sep 24, 2021

For chronic fatigue, yeah coffee would do the trick. There's also energy drinks and energy bars that might help. Could also start supplementing B Complex vitamins for energy. Carbs from juices, cooked grains, fruits would give you energy too. If I feel tired, a 30 minute or so nap always fixes the issue for me, but you already mentioned it doesn't work for you.

justanotherjen
Posted On Sep 25, 2021

@JustMegawatt I try to take some B vitamins in the morning, but I usually forget. Coffee helps IF I drink the entire pot in a couple of hours. I'm not supposed to be drinking caffeine because of my blood pressure, though. I'm still not sure if the fatigue is a symptom of one of my other issues or its own illness. It could just be a side effect of the sleep apnea or the depression or something else. I don't know. Naps really don't seem to help. I usually wake up with a headache and feeling more tired than when I laid down, but I'm also so tired, I can't not take a nap. I will literally fall asleep doing stuff. I can't drive anymore. I can't do anything.

It gets really bad when I have to do physical work. My husband keeps hinting it would be good if I get a job, butt here is no way I could even work part time like this. Just an hour of cleaning carpets (literally just pushing an oversized vacuum around) and I was done for the day. And doing that for 1-2 hours each day has worn me out so much that today I had to take two naps (sleeping for 3 hours total) and have been dragging all day--barely even awake. I can't focus on anything. I tried to read some webcomics while I was babysitting, but my eyes kept crossing.

The fatigue is so bad that I've drank half a pot of coffee at 7 or 8PM and still been ready for bed at 11. Like yawning and falling asleep in my chair after several cups of coffee just hours earlier.

JustMegawatt
Posted On Sep 26, 2021

@justanotherjen That sounds very serious. Maybe a medical professional can diagnose it?

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