Finally Slept through the Night

After a week of tossing and turning and waking up without being able to fall back asleep, I finally slept through the night again. That's because I got my meds filled yesterday so I'm back on my Ativan at night.

I was kind of afraid it wasn't going to work anymore after my experiences the last week. I tried taking half a Zyprexa and different sleeping pills (sometimes combining stuff), but nothing put me to sleep or kept me asleep all night. Ativan isn't even a sleeping pill--it's for anxiety--but it has just the right qualities to relax me at night, I guess, and keep me asleep.

I can't wait to be back on a normal sleep schedule with a solid amount of sleep at night instead of whatever was going on this past week. I was so sick of tossing and turning for hours then only getting two hours of sleep before I was woken by something then not being able to fall back asleep for two hours. Of course, then I was exhausted all day long because of a lack of sleep.

But naps still rarely work for me. No matter how exhausted I feel, when I lie down for a nap, my brain doesn't shut down so I can actually rest. So I just lie there awake, but with my eyes closed. I get up however later, feeling just as tired, if not more tired than when I laid down. It sucks.

My meds have enough refills on them to last me three months (for the Vraylar--my mood stabilizer) and 4 months (the Ativan). I have to find a new doctor before they run out. I still don't know what to do about that, and it stresses me out to think about it.

I hate our medical/insurance situation in the U.S. It sucks so bad, and I'm so tired of conservatives defending it like it's the best health system in the world when people die every day because they can't afford to go to the doctor for simple things and can't afford their meds. I get so jealous every time I read posts about people in other countries just going to their doctor (and specialists!) for every little scrape, sniffle, or symptom without having to worry about how much it will cost or if their insurance will even cover the visit.

It's so expensive to see doctors here even with insurance that most people avoid going at all costs until they're so sick, they can't avoid it anymore.

Sigh. Thinking about this stuff is getting me anxious... I need to go do something else.