Well... I FUCKED UP. Today I was supposed to be delivering a boat. The customer has spent a lot of money on this boat.... I crashed it. The customer was standing there watching. He drove 8 hours to pick this boat up and now he was unable to take it home and we will have to deliver it to him. I wanted to throw up, jump in the water and just swim away. But I had to continue moving through the day and still take him out for a test drive to get comfortable with his boat. Obviously I wish the test drive had been a lot more fun for the both of us.
It feels like it is constantly just one disaster after another with this job, there is always a crisis and I am not sure that I can take it anymore. This is not what I want my life to be. I want to be able to relax. I honestly think that I would prefer to work in a doctors office or something. I need something a lot more chill as my disease can have a flare up from stress. And it just seems like working here is a never ending loop of stress for me. I am so exhausted all of the time and I really don't know how much longer I can do it. I am sitting here, writing this, ready to collapse. Which is not good because I am still 2 hours from home and I have to drive. I'm starting to consider going back to school, or maybe car sales are not as stressful as boat sales. I really don't know what to do but I do know that I can't keep doing this, it will kill me.
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