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parallel play and banescales

HGR has been giving me flak for joining the Serious Combat & Raids Valheim server when I’m not into Serious Combat & Raids. I just wanted to play with my friends!! Even if it is mostly toddler-style parallel play. Look, the reason we have so much boar meat for our turnip stew is that I’ve be...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - March 4, 2025

the bonemass war

newbie and HGR have reached Bonemass, the boss of the swamp. Apparently, in the newbie/numbers world, they just kinda walked up and killed him, no sweat. It doesn’t work that way on Very Hard. Thursday night I watched newbie and HGR progging the fight for about 40 minutes. I say “progging” but on HG...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - March 1, 2025

you don't feel well rested anymore

“Yo, what if you had an air dash in Valheim?” said HGR. “I think that would make the combat way better.” “What the fuck???” said newbie. Still mostly blobbing around in Valheim. It’s a chill experience roaming the meadows, hunting deer and boars, with HGR and newbie’s adventures providing backgrou...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 27, 2025

valheim

For the past year, newbie and numbers have been playing Valheim on-and-off. I’ve been loosely following their adventures. There was The Boat Incident, where they were returning from an expedition on their raft at night and got ambushed by a serpent. There was the time they spent an hour+ following t...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 23, 2025

boba (with boba)

The self-order kiosk at this tea place has a sign taped to it (paraphrased): “Dear Customers, every drink with the word boba in the title comes WITH boba. Every drink with the word jelly in the title comes WITH jelly.” lmao you can tell they’ve had a lot of issues with people ordering (extra) boba i...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 19, 2025

...once you are erased from our memory

A couple things I forgot to mention about last week’s raid: First, newbie was gatekeeping Japanese car fandom. We were talking about “memories of Titan” and how Gaia should turn into a car, which is the most iconic Titan mechanic. Dante said, “I think a Japanese car is what I want to go with.” Then ...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 13, 2025

y'all better stop

Walking back from lunch, I stopped at a red light. Guy next to me with a cane just kept walking into the street against the light. “Y’all better stop!” he yelled in the direction of oncoming traffic. It did work. No one ran him over.

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 11, 2025

boylunches pt. 3: this is the end

In today’s Walmart delivery, we accidentally got a bunch of stuff that we didn’t order. I caught one of the bags and sent it back with the delivery guy (despite him saying “all this stuff is yours”), but a couple other stray bags slipped in. We got brussel sprouts, various Lean Cuisine meals, turkey...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 9, 2025

our utopia will only be complete...

Still progging Eden’s Promise. Raid was pretty much a nothing burger this weekend. We entered with a solid strategy for lions, and exited without ever having successfully executed it. It’s not like we got in a lot of good practice on the lions, either. We just kept dying before getting there. Import...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 4, 2025

frypan finds a home

Sometimes I feel like my entire life is hovering over the boydinner threshold. For instance: In December, Mom was like, “What should I get you for Christmas? Do you want a new frypan?” I was like, “No thanks, I already got one.” She said, “But this one is really good, it’s nonstick.” I let her know ...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Feb. 2, 2025

innocent mind

Thinking about my last encounter with a cop. This was at the train station, pre-pandemic. I arrived at the station a bit early and decided to do a Pokemon Go raid. To reach the gym, you have to stand in a side passage near a service door, so I did that. Also, I was walking in place to farm Fitbit st...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Jan. 29, 2025

boylunches pt. 2: master of blood and shadows

alternate entry titles: no salvation for the sons of man; full comboed by bats; the harbinger of your demise; party in bot lane; this is the end  It hasn’t escaped my notice that my Snorlax has better meal planning than I do. I’ve mastered the art of low-effort meals that are just above the boy...

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Achaius (Lvl. 46) - Jan. 27, 2025

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