Dec. 18, 2020

Things To Do

Today was all about forcing myself to do things that I didn't feel like doing. I went to bed too late last night and had to wake up early for therapy. My therapist recommended that I do bullet journaling, but I said I already journal and log everything, that would just be extra work for no real reason. I know she's trying to find ways to help me, but when I've been through decades of therapy, the easy stuff isn't going to work to motivate me or make me less depressed. She also recommended that I do something while standing. Apparently the increased blood flow leads to increased productivity, which I guess makes sense.

Right after therapy I got up and did my stretches, workout, and yoga routine for about an hour and then after that I spent several hours documenting things I plan to list on ebay- writing up item descriptions, taking clothing measurements, and taking pictures so that all I need to do is post them... hoping that my phone doesn't have an issue connecting to my computer like it was previously. I have a decent amount of things to list, but I need to be careful not to overwhelm myself with it. Part of me just wants to take all the stuff and dump it, and I would at a thrift store or somewhere, but I really could use the money, so I'm trying to tough it out and just get it done. It will take a while because it takes a lot of energy for me. Hopefully I can save up some money...

As if that weren't enough I'm thinking about adding duolingo to my plate. There are several languages I would love to spend more time studying properly, but again I have very little motivation and I'm afraid that I'll start only to fall behind and forget everything if it becomes too much for me to keep up with daily... I also don't know much about the app to know if there's extra studying I need to do like learning an alphabet first or something for more difficult languages. I guess I won't know until I try it. Outside of overworking myself I've just been feeling understimulated so learning something new or picking up a new hobby would probably be good for me in the long run. I just don't want it to turn into a chore like drawing and reading feel like sometimes.

Speaking of which I only have a couple more chapters left to go in the book I'm currently reading. I should read at least a little bit tonight. I wonder if I can finish it so I can start my next book before the new year. I still feel like there's something more that I could or should be doing with my life, but I have no idea what. I wanted to try crochet and knitting, but I never got the hang of it. I'm glad that I've been at least picking up art again lately, but I lack inspiration. I know I could look up prompts and stuff for ideas, but that's just another thing I haven't felt like doing...

Written by iyazo

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