This depression is killing me. And there are so many different things wrong with me (physically and mentally), I'm not sure what's causing the depression or if the depression is just its own thing or if it's causing other symptoms like the fatigue. It's all so confusing. I don't know what to do anym...
An update - it started raining and I had to close my window. I'm lucky to have three windows put together right next to my bed. I can work on my bed and look out the windows at the dancing leaves. Well, they're running now, not really dancing in circles anymore. Sometimes I dream of my perfect hom...
Hurricane approaching today!! I LOVE this type of weather. It spooked my cat though poor thing. I had to bring in all the Halloween decorations and my pride flag, which I think I'm going to have to throw away, it's been releasing plastic threads, which can hurt birds :( Anyways, I'm writing this w...
The power cut out today. Some kid on my street ran outside and started yelling "freedom!" I got to finish my college essay though - I sent it to my teacher to help me get a stronger conclusion, but I'm basically done! It's raining right now but I'm going to go volunteer at my school in two-ish hours...
And now my depression is just worse. The other day, I asked my husband to pick up some toilet paper on his way home because we were down to won roll, and I figured it would hold us over until we could get to Costco later this week as we haven't done our shopping yet only to be told there's no money ...
Weed isn't supposed to be addictive, but I definitely notice when it's not in my system anymore and it makes me antsy. I ran out yesterday (again) and spent all day trying to distract myself by doing anything else, but I can't stop thinking about the pain I'm in and how I would rather be asleep righ...
I wrote a letter to my friend yesterday! I used my new golden sealing wax to stamp it, which was fun. I'm thinking of sending her another letter soon, if only just to talk about the pitiful state of politics in this country. That is to say - the election is coming up soon and I'm scared it's going t...
For almost two weeks, my neighbors have been looking out for me outside their window, wondering if I am really "doing my homeworks". I don't know why I have to prove myself that I am doing my homeworks just because my parents are not around. They thought I'm not doing my homeworks just because I don...
Today was quite slow and uneventful. The weather hasn't been helping my pain or mood so lately I've just been laying in bed. I played through another short visual novel today which was nothing particularly special, just a way to pass the time. I skipped doing my morning workout and yoga. I haven't b...
I didn't make an entry yesterday because all I could think to write was how depressed I was. Well not much has changed since yesterday. I don't even want to get out of bed and ended up "sleeping" half the day and went to bed early because there seemed to be no more point in staying awake since I was...
I entered the chat just as numbers was saying, "I kicked newbie for saying uwu." "That's fair," said Dante. "That's a fair kick." === WE BEAT IFRIT WE BEAT IFRIT Can't believe we've been fighting this dude since literally July. Also, flashback to March 1, nearly eight months ago: [1:10 AM] K...
Weekly review 18-25 of October Whats wrong with me Lack of initiative, unmotivated, distractions (dota 2, malcolm youtube in general) that's how I would categorize myself these last couple of weeks, doing just precisely what I have to do, taking shortcuts, and looking for comfort in my life. I suck...