justanotherjen's Online Journals and Diaries

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Every Day the Same

I always tell myself I'm going to post every day to my illness journal so people can see what it's really like to live with chronic illnesses, but it really is just posting the same thing over and over sometimes. And when that same thing is negative, it just feeds the negativity. My depression and ...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Oct. 7, 2021

Still with the Anxiety and Depression

I'm jittery right now. It's hard to explain what it feels like, but it's almost this vibration in my chest. It keeps me on edge. I don't know what's causing it--it's just always there. It's stressful. And I'm almost out of anxiety pills. They only help a little bit. They calm the vibration some so t...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Oct. 2, 2021

Still Anxious

The weekend is finally over. I no longer have to socialize, but the anxiety is lingering for some reason. I was okay most of the day, but now I feel on edge, and I don't know why. Nothing has changed since this morning, but the worried tension keeps building like something is going to happen. I hate...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 27, 2021

Long Day

So today did not go according to plans. As if they ever do. All that work to get the house cleaned up, and almost for nothing. I ended up waking up early around 6am but feeling miserable because of this depression and fatigue. I managed to stay awake through lunch but could no longer focus on readi...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 26, 2021

Can't Wait for this Weekend to be Over

I'm so tired. Today was the worst day yet with my fatigue. Each day builds on the last. I have no more spoons left. I woke up a little before 6am and couldn't fall back asleep so I just got up. I was too tired to focus on anything, though. At 7am, I made some coffee when I went to make sure my son w...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 24, 2021

Chronic Fatigue Sucks

I can't get anything done like this. I used to be able to start cleaning at 8am and finish the whole house by noon while taking care of a 4yo and infant. Today, I managed to make some coffee and load the dishwasher in the morning but was too tired to do anything else until I drank the coffee. Around...

Comments: 3 Words: 688

justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 23, 2021

frantic cleaning noises

This Sunday is my dad's birthday. He would have been 75, but unfortunately passed away unexpectedly in early June. My dad's only dying wish was that his ashes be mixed with my mom's (she died in August 2000). So my brother texts me Tuesday night to say he wants to come over on Sunday to do the mixin...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 22, 2021

Still Depressed

Mental illness sucks. You never know how you're going to be day to day. Especially with bipolar. You could be doing great, feeling stable and all that for weeks and then BAM, out of nowhere, you're depressed. Being manic can be scary, but at least it's usually productive. You tend to be more creativ...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 21, 2021

Anxiety out of control

It's just been one of those days when my anxiety has just been completely out of control. I can't pinpoint what's making me anxious. I mean there were things in the day I had to do to put my anxiety through the roof like mak a doctor appointment for my daughter, but that was a short period of time, ...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 17, 2021

Depression Sucks

I made journal entries the last few days but opted not to post them publicly because they were just full of depression-fueled self-loathing and venting. Probably not the most helpful for others to read. I'm still depressed but feeling a little... less depressed? I had gotten into a disagreement w...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 15, 2021

Sleep Cycles

Ever since I got on this new med, my sleep cycles have been... interesting. Before the med, chronic fatigue and insomnia ruled my life. I would regularly stay up until 4am then sleep until my alarm went off at 10 for my son to do his zoom meetings. I'd have to force myself out of bed to unlock my p...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 11, 2021

Day Missed

Welp, I already missed a day of daily journaling. Not even a week in, to. Yesterday just got thrown for a loop. I woke up at 4am (second day in a row for some reason) but didn't get much work done. And then I got tired really early. I ended up lying down for a nap around 11:30am. That means I misse...

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justanotherjen (Lvl. 36) - Sept. 10, 2021

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