Today was a calm day. I allowed myself to sleep in a few extra minutes after waking up, just to enjoy being comfortable in bed. I'm trying to do more simple things like that, just to appreciate what I have that much more. I got up and ate breakfast which was just fruit, seeds, and a poptart. I need ...
Today I woke up from a series of short nightmares. It was almost 2pm... though I didn't fall asleep until after 4 or 5am because my insomnia has been pretty bad lately, even with my normal medications. I got up right away, ate, meditated, worked out, and did yoga. I found another instructor that I l...
I keep finding more crafty ways to reduce clutter in my room. I think next I'm going to clean out the bottom of the rat's cage and switch them to the bottom and have all of the storage on the top because that makes more sense to me. I can store my food in the (sanitized) upper part then maybe so it'...
I got my stimulus the other day. I wasn't expecting it so suddenly. I can't have over $1k in my account because I'm on disability. It's a stupid rule to keep people like me poor. I need to get a new laptop though. At this point anything has to be better than the 10-12 year old one I have now which I...
Maybe it's fitting that it's raining today. I ache inside and out as I mourn the loss of my friend, Angel. Dan messaged me to make sure I was doing ok. He clearly was not. He was apparently with them when he passed. They were best friends. I need to do something productive today to keep my mind from...
I woke up to bad news. My friend, Angel, who had been fighting stage 4 liver cancer was in the hospital and hadn't been lucid since Wednesday afternoon. They tried to drain fluid away from his lungs, but I guess that wasn't enough. He passed away earlier today. I mourn for the family that he left be...
Just sitting here winding down and listening to some meditation music. A lot has happened very quickly. A good friend of mine is in the hospital with multiple complications due to cancer and I'm very severely worried that he might not make it through... I really hope he does if only for the sake of ...
I spent this afternoon calling around and trying to find a new dentist close to me that takes my insurance. There aren't many that do to begin with, so it's difficult... I ended up going and leaving a really nasty review for the one place which made me feel so bad that I stopped calling around to pl...
Today was pretty good. Another day where it feels like I did very little, but I got a lot done. I woke up overheated again this morning and spent time cleaning myself up. Then, Michael came and picked me up to run my usual errands Luckily I had enough money for another vape. I keep trying to save m...
I ran out of my ambien and klonopin. I ended up waking up around 6am and going back to sleep. I was really lucky that I was able to fall asleep again. I have a supplement drink that has tryptophan to help fall asleep and that has been working ok so far. I can hopefully go and pick up my medicine tom...
Slow day. I woke up kinda late and was too tired to do much of anything. I listened to the BTS albums that came out this year and thought about drawing, though I didn't really have any ideas. I did a couple of sudoku puzzles and played a few video games. The more I hold off and think about it the m...
tw: self-harm I always have to ask myself if something I'm doing is more of a self-sabotage or not. I think keeping a journal keeps me more sane, so I'll use this until I find an alternative I actually like. I wish I could just write... My poor hands... I did find my compression gloves the other da...
