tw: sex, sw positive discussion, honestly it's all lewd you should probably just see yourself out, you've walked into the nasty I'm back in business, baby. Yeah I'm gonna make it big and live my life however the fuck I want...Why? Because "where exactly am I gonna go? To double hell?" I'll just k...
I'm back from the hospital. I feel a bit more prepared this time, so that's good. My psychiatrist and therapist actually said to me today that I should *really* consider getting another pet, since grief over the loss of my pets has been a huge factor in my depression this year. I definitely will nev...
tw: self harm, drug use Must have fallen asleep last night as soon as I took my meds and hit the bed...I woke up to a phone call with my glasses still on and very smudged. Not the first time that's happened recently...I feel like I hadn't slept at all. I barely did- maybe 4 hours absolute max inclu...
tw: self harm, drug use today was fucking weird. as I type this my head is throbbing, probably concussed from bashing it against the wall because someone said (about herself) that basically people who do nothing might as well kill themselves or something along those lines....I bashed the words back...
I woke up today and I was tired. I slept through Sunday school because I didn't remember what time it started anyway and then had church over zoom at 11am. In a small church group like this it feels like everyone knows everything about everyone. They're all really friendly though. I had several peop...
Finally got some decent sleep last night. I feel like I did very little today, but I actually got a lot done. Woke up later than usual for once. I was able to set up my new tv which is comically large to try to use as a monitor, so I decided not to. I really need to get a desk chair, but my remainin...
tw: talking about gender and body parts I'm trying to think about what I want in life, or at least what I could do to make myself feel more comfortable in my own skin living where I do. I was really irked by the moldy holes in my ceiling. I collected over an inch of rainwater from them in a large ...
Still not feeling any better. I posted something on twitter "cis men continue to be absolute garbage fires. Get tf out of my life if you can't talk to me like a person." and Sona was personally offended and blocked me. I guess I should be grateful if he doesn't want to treat me like a person, going ...
tw: suicidal ideation I feel like the lowest of the low. I just want anything to cling onto to drag myself back up, but I'm not sure if I can do it. I keep staring at the boxes I have no intention of unpacking. Staring at the exposed ceiling beams like they're the only way out of here. I can't take...
I'm back out of the hospital after about 10 days. I met some truly wonderful people while I was there who I plan to keep in touch with because we all got along so well. When I first arrived at the hospital I was irate- I had been told to arrive at 8:30pm and I did...only to be told that they had no...
Sometimes I feel like I've run out of options only to find at the last second that everything has changed, shifted in a way that I hadn't expected it to. I woke up this morning much earlier than I would have liked and couldn't get back to sleep- something which I hope is fixed when I'm in the hospi...
Today I packed more and wrote down more phone numbers. I was scared, but I asked for 2 of my aunt's phone numbers so that I can call them while I'm in the hospital. They are both being very supportive and proud of me for admitting that I know I need help, so they gave me their phone numbers. I also ...
